If I

Ross Copperman's song 'If I' delves into the complexities and emotional turmoil of a one-sided love. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of a relationship where one person is deeply invested, while the other remains distant and enigmatic. The song begins with a moment of unexpected joy, as the narrator describes the beloved as a 'ray of light' that suddenly illuminates their universe. This initial euphoria, however, is quickly overshadowed by the realization that the connection is fraught with misunderstandings and unspoken barriers.

The recurring question 'If I' serves as a poignant refrain, highlighting the narrator's desperate attempts to bridge the emotional gap. They ponder whether their expressions of love and vulnerability—crying, dying, and trying to understand—would make any difference to the beloved. This repeated questioning underscores the narrator's sense of helplessness and longing for reciprocation. The metaphor of 'reading your mystery mind' suggests that the beloved's thoughts and feelings are an enigma, further complicating the narrator's efforts to connect on a deeper level.

Copperman's lyrics also touch on themes of self-deception and the pain of unrequited love. The narrator admits to pretending that both parties are someone they are not, indicating a struggle with authenticity and acceptance. The lines 'Your rules, your games, but it's my heart at stake' emphasize the emotional stakes involved, as the narrator's heart is on the line while navigating the beloved's complex emotional landscape. Ultimately, 'If I' is a heartfelt exploration of the challenges of loving someone who remains emotionally unavailable, capturing the anguish and yearning that accompany such a relationship.