GRETEL

Ward off great evil
'Fore I reach the front door
What am I in hell for?
Was I born to be tortured?

Creatures, medieval
Can you guide me?
Yes, of course
Fairy, goblin, unicorn
Point me the way with your horn

So you don't believe me
Well, I'll make it easy
I'll burst open the seams with you standing next to me

What look like raisins
Are plastered on my skin
Naturally occurring monster making condition

It's not the effect of poison ivy
I go hiking carefully
How come they want me on TV?
Am I really that much of a freak?

Why ever would I come out of hiding
When nobody's nice to me?
How could anyone think I'm lovely
When they retch at the sight of me?

I'd like to get groovy, to drink a mango smoothie
I'd like to watch a movie without everyone, and the Sun
Telling me that I look dumb

Hate my buds, just because there's not enough room for us
They forced me to eat ice
Then I broke my teeth and cried

Jekyll, hyde, dragon, slime
The only ones who are kind
Not my fault my body's spots resemble dried apricots

Beedo, appadeebin
Wish I did, but I don't believe him
All I want is a quiet evening
And now you're telling me my dream's not one that's worth believing in?

Eedo, appigo appadeeben
Yeah, I'm ugly, but there is a reason
I came out of the oven too seasoned
Sometimes there's a casserole that just isn't worth eating

I imagine self-worth and inner peace
Tastes like artificial cherry
No, wait, maybe more like ice cream
Either way, I really could use some flavouring

Come one, everybody, come one, come all
The circus clown has dropped the ball
How about we give her a face full of pie?
For some reason, in return, you'd still expect a smile

And, whenever you get mad
I'm your walking punching bag
Can your conscience handle that?
It shouldn't be you, the one who's feeling bad
Not with all your intact arteries

I'd like to get groovy, to drink a mango smoothie
I'd like to watch a movie without
Everyone, and the Sun telling me I'm not enough

Why would I enjoy this?
No, I'm not a masochist

With red gloves, all you touch
Certainly will get marked up
I, in fact, in light of this
Became your painting canvas

It's me against you and dad
Not afraid to punch him back
Happen to want to get hurt badly?
Then go ahead an try messing with me
I assure you I'll split you to atoms for free

Worse than that, I'll steal all the chocolate
Out your dear chocolate chip cookies
Purposely misplace you keys
Be the reason why you sneeze

When I say green you think of cheese
But in my mind, I'm picturing some fresh tangerines

You take pictures, I'll fake a smile
Through gritting teeth, you might surmise it's not the same
But you know that I won't play your game
Wasted all your day and let me get away with it

If you look like me, don't go out at night
To a man on edge, you could give a fright
And in self-defence, he'll take out a knife
Wouldn't want to cause a scene

Looking like it's time for me to fly away
Maybe I'll see you another day
Sike, you're probably going the other way
So give a smother to my brother when you see him, okay?

Luckily on my diet, I don't eat meat
For someone who looks like an animal, I'm rather picky!

Not a monster 'cause I don't hate babies
I don't skip cut-scenes
Eating my own kind is against my beliefs
You, though had no problem tearing life and limb from Ted and Jim, so
Made of stone your evil heart must be
Could be that your cup of love is filled with liquid savagery

O-o-oh, yippadie dee, oh, yippadie doh, doh
Went to the pot luck with scones
You won't take any home, I know
But I suppose maybe I just want to do some baking

Take it from me, looks couldn't kill, no, but they can get you disowned
We won't look at her
Is that so?
Then my baked goods are no longer free for the taking

Thanks for pizza, I'll take a mango, blend it up real nice and slow
My dear friends, I have made it home
Rewarded with time alone