Prostitute Song

South Park South Park

Chef: Hello there, children!
Children: Hey, Chef
Stan: Chef, what's a prostitute?
Chef:Dag-nabbit children! How come every time you come in here
you gotta be askin' me questons that I shouldn't be answering?!
"Chef, what's the clitoris?" "What's a lesbian, Chef?" "How come they
call it a rim jub, Chef?" For once, can't just come in here and say,
"Hi Chef. Nice day, isn't it?"
Stan: Hi Chef. Nice day, isn't it?
Chef: It sure is! Thank you.
Stan: Chef, what's a prostitute?
Chef: Uh uh! You children are gonna get me in trouble with the principal again.
Cartman: Lunchtime! I'm starved!
Chef: Oh my God. Eric?
Cartman: That's me.
Stan: Chef was just about to tell us what a protitute is.
Chef: Why do you need to know what a prostitue is anyway?!
Stan: Because Jesus told us that Kenny's a prostitute. Is he?
Kenny: Yeah. Am I?
Chef: Well, no, uh of course Kenny is not a prostitute.
Kyle: Why?
Chef: Well, because, children, a prostitute is someone who…
you could pay for certain services.
Stan: Like what?
Chef: Like keeping you company. Understand?
Stan: No.
Chef: You see, chidren, sometimes a man needs to be with a woman.
But sometimes, when the lovin' is over, the woman just wants to talk and talk
and talk and talk.

[song]
But a prostitute is someone who would love you
No matter who you are, or what you look like.
Yes, it's true, children.
That's not why you pay a prostitute,
No, you don't pay her to stay, you pay her to leave afterwards.
That's why I pays a lot for prostitutes! Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. James Taylor.

James Taylor: A prostitute is like any other woman
They all trade somethin' for sex and they do it well.
Chef: And that's why I say-
Chef and James Taylor: Prostitutes! Prostitutes! They-
Chef: Oohhhh [sees principal]
James Taylor, what the hell are you doin' in here?!
Singing' about prostitutes to the children! Get out of here!

  1. Suck My Balls Mr. Garrison
  2. Prostitute Song
  3. Minorities
  4. Stan's Wendy Song
  5. In My Safe Space
  6. Rebecca
  7. Put It Down
  8. The Butters Show
  9. San Diego
  10. Princess Kenny Theme
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