I Left This Life To Rot

Suizid's song 'I Left This Life To Rot' delves deep into the harrowing experience of living with depression and the allure of death as an escape from perpetual suffering. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of a life overshadowed by misery, where depression is not merely a disdain for life but a profound connection to pain, suffering, and death. This connection is described as a 'never ending circle of darkness' that envelops the individual, guiding them towards their demise. The song captures the paradoxical sense of freedom that comes with the acceptance of death, as the protagonist feels liberated for the first time despite the overwhelming sorrow.

The imagery of angels crying and demons screaming symbolizes the internal conflict and torment experienced by the protagonist. The juxtaposition of these celestial and infernal beings highlights the duality of their emotions—feeling both a part of them dying and a newfound sense of freedom. The comfort found in grief and the fulfillment of a 'bittered soul' suggest a deep, almost perverse, solace in the familiarity of pain. This comfort is what ultimately enables the protagonist to contemplate leaving life behind, seeking eternal rest and release from their suffering.

The recurring theme of life and death underscores the protagonist's struggle and fascination with the boundary between existence and oblivion. The final verses emphasize the emptiness and darkness that have consumed their heart and flesh, leaving behind only the 'rotten smell of death.' This stark imagery conveys the profound sense of desolation and the irreversible impact of depression on their life. Suizid's raw and unflinching portrayal of these themes offers a poignant insight into the depths of despair and the complex relationship between pain and the desire for peace.