Six Tons of Granite
The Big Bang Theory
The Rolling Wrath of a Stone Idol
The song "Six Tons of Granite" by The Big Bang Theory is a playful and imaginative take on the perspective of an inanimate object, specifically a giant stone ball, which is often seen in adventure movies and games as a trap mechanism. The lyrics personify this stone ball as a guardian of a temple in Peru, lying in wait for any would-be thieves who dare to steal its idol. The song uses humor and exaggeration to convey the stone's threat to crush anyone who attempts to take the idol, emphasizing its massive weight and destructive potential.
The repeated lines about being 'six tons of granite and micaceous schist' serve to remind the listener of the stone's formidable nature, while also adding a touch of geological education. Micaceous schist is a type of metamorphic rock that contains layers of mica, which gives it a glittery appearance. The song's chorus is catchy and reinforces the stone's identity and its readiness to unleash its wrath. The lyrics also play with the idea of the stone having a vengeful personality, describing it as 'homicidal' and graphically detailing the consequences for the idol thief.
Despite its humorous tone, the song can be seen as a metaphor for the consequences of greed and the violation of sacred spaces. It serves as a reminder that actions have consequences, and sometimes those consequences can be as unyielding and crushing as a six-ton ball of granite. The song's creative approach to storytelling through the eyes of an inanimate object adds a layer of originality and fun to its underlying message.