...But I Pretend I'm a Beginner (feat. GBSN & John Silkie)
TheDooo
The Struggle Behind the Spotlight
The song "...But I Pretend I'm a Beginner" by TheDooo featuring GBSN & John Silkie delves into the internal conflict and pressures associated with pursuing one's dreams, particularly in the context of a public career such as music or entertainment. The lyrics express a sense of disillusionment and the heavy toll that chasing success can take on an individual's mental health and well-being.
The opening lines set the tone for the song, suggesting that the reality behind achieving dreams is not as glamorous as it appears. The metaphor of the mind as a 'boulder' illustrates the overwhelming weight of stress and expectations. The 'double-edged sword' and 'glass prison' imagery further convey the idea that the pursuit of fame and recognition is fraught with challenges and can lead to a feeling of being trapped or scrutinized, where every action is judged and there's no room for error.
The chorus reflects on the ephemeral nature of everything we hold dear, hinting at a desire for legacy and to be remembered after death. The song also touches on the paradox of loving the very thing that causes pain, suggesting a complicated relationship with the pursuit of success. The repeated references to 'thoughts' at the end of the song emphasize the incessant and consuming nature of the artist's internal dialogue, highlighting the mental exhaustion that comes with constantly striving to be at the top.