What I Want

The Living Tombstone's song 'What I Want' delves deep into the emotional turmoil and existential struggles of an individual grappling with mental health issues. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of someone who feels trapped in their own mind, unable to escape the overwhelming sense of dread and lethargy that accompanies their daily life. The opening lines, 'Quarter to two and I haven't got out of bed / Phone keeps buzzing but I'm leaving my messages unread,' set the tone for a narrative of isolation and disconnection. The protagonist's struggle with a 'lack of serotonin control' and the 'scar that sits on the soul' highlights the profound impact of mental health on one's sense of self and daily functioning.

As the song progresses, the chorus reveals a deeper layer of vulnerability and longing. The repeated lines, 'Feeling hazy / And I'm losing my control / And I can't get out this hole,' emphasize the protagonist's sense of helplessness and the cold, isolating world they inhabit. The desire for connection is palpable, yet there's a fear of rejection and self-doubt, encapsulated in the lines, 'And I want you / But I think you might hate me.' This internal conflict between wanting to reach out for help and the fear of being a burden or being misunderstood is a common theme in discussions about mental health.

The latter part of the song shifts to a more aspirational tone, with the protagonist expressing their dreams and desires. 'I wanna sing and make songs / I wanna dance all day long / I wanna be a big part of a big corporation' reflects a yearning for recognition, success, and love. This juxtaposition of deep-seated insecurities with grand ambitions underscores the complexity of the human experience. The repeated desire to 'dance all day long and all the night' symbolizes a longing for freedom, joy, and acceptance. Ultimately, 'What I Want' is a poignant exploration of the struggle for self-worth, the impact of mental health on one's life, and the universal desire for love and recognition.