Bad Apple!! (feat. Nomico)

Touhou Touhou

The Existential Struggle in 'Bad Apple!! (feat. Nomico)' by Touhou

The song 'Bad Apple!! (feat. Nomico)' by Touhou delves into the depths of existential angst and the struggle for self-identity. The lyrics paint a picture of a person caught in the relentless flow of time, feeling detached and disoriented. The recurring theme of '流れてく時の中でもけだるさがほらぐるぐる回って' (Even in the flowing time, the languor is spinning around) suggests a sense of weariness and a lack of direction. The protagonist feels disconnected from their own heart and surroundings, encapsulated in the line '私から離れる心も見えないわ そう知らない' (I can't see my heart leaving me, I don't know it). This detachment is further emphasized by the passive acceptance of being swept away by time without taking any action to change their situation.
The song also explores the futility of dreams and emotions. The lines '夢見てる? 何も見てない? 語るも無駄な自分の言葉' (Are you dreaming? Not seeing anything? My words are useless) reflect a deep sense of disillusionment. The protagonist finds no value in expressing their feelings or dreams, as they believe it only leads to exhaustion and sorrow. This nihilistic outlook is reinforced by the idea that it is better to feel nothing and simply go through the motions of life. The metaphor of turning everything black if they were to take action ('もし私から動くのならば 全て変えるのなら黒にする') signifies a desire to embrace darkness and reject the superficiality of their current existence.
The final verses of the song question the possibility of change and self-discovery. The protagonist wonders if there is a future for someone like them in a world that feels so alien ('こんな自分に未来はあるの? こんな世界に私はいるの'). They express a longing to understand their own emotions and to find a sense of purpose. The contrast between black and white in the lines 'こんな私も変われるのなら もし変われるのなら白になる' (If I could change, I would become white) symbolizes a potential transformation from despair to hope, from confusion to clarity. This duality captures the essence of the human condition, where the struggle for meaning and identity is a constant battle.

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