Diazepam

Turnover's song 'Diazepam' delves into the complexities of personal struggles and their impact on relationships. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of a person grappling with their own mental health issues, symbolized by the reference to 'Diazepam,' a medication commonly used to treat anxiety and other conditions. The protagonist feels a deep sense of guilt and helplessness, acknowledging the toll their condition takes on their partner. The recurring imagery of sleepless nights and the taste of 'orange nails' in their mouth suggests a constant state of unrest and anxiety.

The song also touches on themes of societal and familial disapproval. The protagonist feels alienated from their partner's family, who disapprove of them for not fitting into conventional norms—whether it's a lack of interest in sports or not adhering to religious beliefs. This external pressure adds another layer of strain to the relationship, making the protagonist feel even more isolated and misunderstood. The line 'I took an upper before your sister's wedding just to help me pretend' highlights the lengths to which they go to mask their true self, further emphasizing their internal struggle.

At its core, 'Diazepam' is a poignant exploration of the tension between self-identity and the desire to be there for a loved one. The repeated refrain 'I don't know what I need' underscores the protagonist's confusion and uncertainty about their own needs and their ability to support their partner. The song captures the heartbreaking reality of feeling like a burden to someone you care about deeply, and the fear that your issues might eventually drive them away. It's a raw and honest portrayal of the emotional turmoil that comes with mental health struggles and the impact they can have on relationships.