Clandestine

Vana's song 'Clandestine' delves deep into the dark recesses of the human psyche, exploring themes of despair, isolation, and the haunting presence of inner demons. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of a person grappling with intense emotional turmoil, feeling disconnected from life and haunted by thoughts of suicide. The opening lines, 'I'm visionary / I've seen it in my dreams,' suggest a sense of foreboding and premonition, as if the protagonist has long been aware of their impending descent into darkness.

The recurring imagery of fading colors and shades of grey symbolizes the loss of vibrancy and joy in the protagonist's life. This shift from seeing in color to only perceiving grey highlights the depth of their depression and emotional numbness. The lines 'I can't remember how it felt to be alive / And now I'm haunted by the thoughts of suicide' poignantly capture the protagonist's struggle to find meaning and purpose, feeling as though they are merely existing rather than truly living.

The metaphor of a 'clandestine garden' serves as a powerful representation of the protagonist's desire for a hidden, peaceful resting place, away from the prying eyes of the world. This clandestine garden is a place where they can finally find solace and escape from their torment. The repeated plea to be buried and covered in ashes underscores the protagonist's yearning for release from their suffering. The song's haunting refrain, 'Bury me in a clandestine garden,' echoes the protagonist's desperate wish for an end to their pain, encapsulating the tragic beauty of their struggle.