CINDERELLA vs BELLE (Princess Rap Battle)
Whitney Avalon
Once upon a time, in a far away land, there was a Princess Rap Battle!
Cinderella versus Belle
Let the rap battle begin
[CINDERELLA]
Another princess in my shadow come to covet my crown?
You clowns wanna throw down with the best in a gown?
I’m the legendary story of rags to riches
Rhymes sharper than a needle and I’m giving out stitches (ha!)
Like a wilting rose you can’t step to my flows
These girls are trippin’, did they cut off their toes?
I deserve all the praise for the foot-fetish craze
I’ve got itty-bitty kicks, but legs for days
Let’s look at your mentality, Freud loves your abnormality
The Stockholm Syndrome Story: Beauty and the Bestiality
Of course you’re better, I’m the number one star
Pumpkin carriage, perfect marriage, no one cares who you are
[BELLE]
What’s my name? (Belle!) What’s it mean? (Beauty!)
I’m the perfect combination of brains and booty
While I’m gaining knowledge you’re losing your pumps
Like Mrs. Potts I’m serving shots and dishing out lumps
Cindy’s dreaming she’s important, well, somebody should wake her
This gold-digging trophy wife’s the royal babymaker
Fear the nerdy, wordy princess ‘cause I’m throwing more shade
Than the willow tree growing on your dead mother’s grave
Your tale as old as time sets us back fifty years
Do your chores, clean the floors ‘til a man just appears
You’re shallow and obsessed with looks and how you’re dressed
You wanna live like Gaston? (Hmmm?) Please, be our guest
[CINDERELLA]
Oh, I’m the one who’s shallow ‘cause your prince was really hairy?
The Beast was in the friend zone ‘til he gave you his library
Your points have no merit, you’re jealous, declare it
Like I’ve always said: If the shoe fits, wear it
I’m the American dream with a fairy-tale wedding
You’ve got teapots for friends and I think your man’s shedding
Some things are meant to be like love at first sight
Bibbidi-bobbidi-booyah he was mine before midnight
[BELLE]
A relationship rookie wants to rap about romance?
You can’t fall in love after just one dance
My prince saved my life and don’t be misled
I want a man in the street but a beast in the bed
Your film stars mice and cats with an old, fat fairy
Your silly story’s shoehorned into freakin’ “Tom and Jerry”
You say you want to party, next you run off down the halls
It’s like you always choke once you make it to the balls
[CINDERELLA]
You think that’s funny? Here’s a history lesson, honey
My movie saved the studio when Walt was out of money
You followed in my footsteps, without me there’s no you
Disney built an empire on these tiny glass shoes
[BELLE]
If you’re so adored where’s your Academy Award?
I’m the smart female heroine that can’t be ignored
The moral of our quarrel and why I’ve got you beat
It’s what’s inside that matters not the size of your feetr