Popular

Elphie, now that we're friends
I've decided to make you my new project
You really don't have to do that
I know
That's what makes me so nice

Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I
And let's face it
Who isn't less fortunate than I?
My tender heart tends to start to bleed
And when someone needs a makeover I simply have to take over
I know, I know exactly what they need

And even in your case
Though it's the toughest case I've yet to face
Don't worry, I'm determined to succeed
Follow my lead, and yes, indeed
You will be

Popular
You're gonna be popular
I'll teach you the proper poise when you talk to boys
Little ways to flirt and flounce, oh!
I'll show you what shoes to wear
How to fix your hair
Everything that really counts to be

Popular
I'll help you be popular
You'll hang with the right cohorts
You'll be good at sports
Know the slang you've got to know
So let's start
'Cause you've got an awfully long way to go

Don't be offended by my frank analysis
Think of it as personality dialysis
Now that I've chosen to become a pal
A sister and adviser, there's nobody wiser
Not when it comes to

Popular
I know about popular
And with an assist from me
To be who you'll be
Instead of dreary who-you-were, well, are
There's nothing that can stop you
From becoming populer (lar!)

La-la-la-la
We're gonna make you popular

When I see depressing creatures
With unprepossessing features
I remind them on their own behalf
To think of

Celebrated heads of state or
Especially great communicators
Did they have brains or knowledge?
Don't make me laugh!

They were popular
Please, it's all about popular
It's not about aptitude
It's the way you're viewed
So it's very shrewd to be
Very, very popular like me

Why, Miss Elphaba?
Look at you
You're beautiful
I, I have to go
You're welcome

And though you protest
Your disinterest
I know clandestinely
You're gonna grin and bear it
Your newfound popularity

La-la-la-la
You'll be popular
Just not quite as popular as me!