Wonder If You Wonder

Know its been a long time, I hear you're doing just fine
Graduated, got a job and you been working a grind
You're never looking behind
I know you never found me crossing your mind

But I'd be lying if you didn't cross mine
From time to time I see some of your pictures online
Kindest Regards was hard, I left my heart on the line
I wrote a song for you, took a couple months of my time

How can you praise him for flowers and a bottle of wine?
You'll never be mine, remember the time I came to see you?
I thought it would just be you, but there's twelve other people
You see there was never "We" so we could never be a sequel

Thought it might've been a date the day, did anything to see you
But I'm nothing more than nothing, you're bluffing saying you care
Our only real connection is memories that we share
I would never try to blame you, cause blaming you isn't fair

Not that you care, the stress is really starting to wear
And in my music, I took our story and I used it
Don't care how you were feeling, I'm busy dropping my new shit
Know people gonna love it, I'm buzzing after I do it

I'm gifted with the curse of honesty and the truth is
I loved you more than words, I didn't know how to prove it
Can't tell you that in person, but always could through my music
Everyone who said they cared isn't there, now I'm confused
I'm broken and bruised, lonely, open, empty and stupid and still I

I thought I had it all figured out
No, you would never fall for me now
I wonder if you wonder why I'm never around
I wonder if you, I wonder if you wonder what I'm doing right now

You can hear the pain in my sound, laughed as I fell to the ground
I wonder if you wonder why I'm never around
I wonder if you, I wonder if you wonder what I'm doing right now

And I can't lie, it hurt a little when you said you didn't want me
To know I never tried is what continues to haunt me
Every pic I see is you and him, his twitter tryna taunt me
You think I let it go? This is old and exhausting

Some offspring family in a house is what I thought about
Sometimes I wonder if he'll get that now
See we know that you picked a different path
Me I picked a different route

And I can't help but laugh at how this all played out
You're over me now, I'm hoping you found only the best
Remember when we used to rep that Kanye West?
Graduation and rotation cause you liked that best

And back then I didn't want you, now look I'm a mess
I open my chest and through me you can see no spine
My profile pic and lyrics I've been hiding behind
It looks like you found the love that I was hoping to find
The only you I love is the one that I create in my mind and still I

I thought I had it all figured out
No, you would never fall for me now
I wonder if you wonder why I'm never around
I wonder if you, I wonder if you wonder what I'm doing right now

You can hear the pain in my sound, laughed as I fell to the ground
I wonder if you wonder why I'm never around
I wonder if you, I wonder if you wonder what I'm doing right now

I often wonder if you ever did care
I wonder why in my mind is the only time you ever were there
See we were friends, but that felt more like pretend
This year is awfully clear, the real us is what I fear

The one where we were only friends and I acted like we dated
And nowadays our conversation is: Hey happy belated
And every song I wrote for you, you know you actually hate it
Because you realize that you never felt the same when you played it

You never cared if I made it, that's why I waited, you know me
See all the love that I've been getting through my phone feels phony
I rhyme a couple words together, every girl wanna blow me
Were in a world full of people, yet I'm feeling so lonely

If only I could tell myself there's plenty fish in the sea
But see the sea if full of sharks, fake guppies and greed
And as I find myself drowning while I'm fighting to breathe
I realize that I'm in love with what I thought we could be