the day you killed yourself

xójira's song, 'the day you killed yourself,' delves into the profound and painful emotions experienced in the wake of a loved one's suicide. The lyrics are raw and direct, capturing the immediate aftermath and the lingering questions that haunt those left behind. The opening lines, 'I remember the look on your face / I could see the happiness just erase,' paint a vivid picture of the moment when joy was replaced by despair, highlighting the sudden and devastating impact of the loss.

The line 'It should have just been my soul to take' reveals a deep sense of survivor's guilt, a common feeling among those who have lost someone to suicide. The narrator grapples with the idea that they should have been the one to go, not their loved one, indicating a profound sense of responsibility and helplessness. This sentiment is further emphasized by the plea, 'I just can't let us both die in vain,' suggesting a desperate need to find meaning or purpose in the tragedy.

The repeated question, 'How could you leave me here alone,' underscores the abandonment and isolation felt by the narrator. This repetition not only conveys the depth of their sorrow but also their struggle to comprehend the irreversible decision made by their loved one. xójira's poignant lyrics serve as a powerful reminder of the emotional turmoil and unanswered questions that suicide leaves in its wake, urging listeners to reflect on the importance of mental health and the impact of their actions on those around them.