Dirt On The Name Of Steven

Zheani's 'Dirt On The Name Of Steven' is a raw and unfiltered exploration of trauma, guilt, and the struggle for self-acceptance. The song delves into the artist's painful past, marked by familial strife and societal judgment. The recurring line, 'I can’t forgive him or myself,' underscores a deep-seated internal conflict, suggesting a complex relationship with her father and a sense of self-blame that she can't shake off. The phrase 'Na zdrowie!, pour it out for health' is a Polish toast to health, which adds a layer of irony given the unhealthy emotional state described in the lyrics.

The song paints a vivid picture of Zheani's upbringing, referring to herself as a 'mutt bitch that grew up in hell.' This self-deprecating language highlights her feelings of worthlessness and alienation. The mention of 'teenage cuts' that 'ain’t stopped bleeding' symbolizes ongoing emotional wounds that have yet to heal. The lyrics also touch on societal issues, such as the stigmatization of mental health and the predatory behavior of some men, described as 'vultures.' The imagery of 'hell bubbling over' and the smell of sulfur evokes a sense of impending doom and relentless suffering.

Zheani's narrative is also one of defiance and resilience. Despite being labeled a 'freak' and facing constant harassment, she declares herself to be on a 'winning spree.' This juxtaposition of vulnerability and strength is a recurring theme, as she navigates her past traumas while striving for a better future. The reference to '96 Bonnie and Clyde' and the line 'mother fuck the law' suggest a rebellious spirit, unwilling to conform to societal norms. The song ends on a note of unresolved tension, with Zheani still grappling with her past but determined to tell her story, no matter how painful it may be.