CJ Vs Niko Bellic

Epic Rap Battles of Geekdom
Niko Bellic versus CJ
Let's go!

[Niko Bellic]
It's insulting that this inept one tries to compare himself to my talent
If I count the blood of the bodies I spill, I get lost
The wars in Bosnia made this Serbian a violent being (Ah)
Who is Niko Bellic? I'm a warlike guy
Give me a couple of guns and I eradicate squads
Not a single one of my merits is fake, homie
When my bullet hits, even Gay Tony knows, ha
Wow, but if you still want to play, Carl, you will
My krav maga will calm you down
Not even using the invincibility cheat will prevent this from being like the disaster of your remaster (Yeah, yeah)
And your face will end up very bad

[CJ]
Ha, how good, I was born in the ghetto
And I grew up in the streets
And now comes a damn fool to question my gangster spirit?
Ah, shit, here we go again (Yo)

You fall flat on your face if you pick a fight with CJ: The toughest bastard in San Andreas (Yeah)
I have all the cops chasing my footsteps
I'm a luxury hotel, I go with Sweet and five stars
I saved Grove Street, I built its destiny
You've been subjugated by cretins who have done whatever they wanted with you (Ah, ah)
So much American dream and the job you found is saving your cousin's ass (Oh)

[Niko Bellic]
I saw you were slow on your train mission, bro
But you just had to follow the tempo, man (Hahaha)
With how dense you are writing texts, I'm surprised you didn't sink Madd Dogg's career (Uh)
The moment Big Smoke made that order (Yes)
He added an extra dose of betrayal to his content (Ha)
Is he a bastard or a great friend?
If he killed your mother just to spend more time with you!

[CJ and Wu Zi Mu Woozie]
So you want to make fun of my dead
Woozie, I know you're blind, but you have to see this (Damn)
You're tarnishing mom's memory and from the heart, with all honesty (Yo, yo)
I'll throw you from the heart of the Statue of Happiness and you'll end up like Tenpenny, with a crash
All that's left for me is to spell out
That MC CJ is the damn GTA MVP, ha

[Trevor]
Oh, come on
Didn't you think of inviting the craziest pilot to a rap battle? (Oh)
Well, ladies, pay attention, I came to liven things up
And to show that nothing beats this Canadian buddy, ha

[Trevor, Franklin, Michael, and Lester]
The two of you are a thing of the past
My game has been on the covers for ten years
Yours are outdated relics that are worthless compared to the shine that Los Santos emanates
Well said, indeed
Count on us, Trevor
Oh, no, don't think you're my buddies (No, no)
Michael, you pretended to disappear into a hole
And Franklin, you even kill me in a game ending
So the four of you can suck my balls
Even though my last name is Phillips, I haven't shaved their hair (Yo, yo, yo)
Johnny Klebitz learned it and his bikers saw it
If you piss me off, you'll end up with your brains on the floor
Kicking my city
And kicking the head of anyone who earns my enmity
In our developer, they love to crunch
And I'm just like them, addicted to exploiting
Keeping the GTA-A-A-A crown
What other game has been at the top of annual sales for so long?
Sleeping Dogs, Saints Row, The Simpsons: Hit & Run
If you're a sandbox, you have to call us daddy

[Jimmy Hopkins]
(Oh, oh, oh)
Oh, what do I see? (Uh) Old farts that I don't believe (Hey, hey)
Arguing about who's the best in this tournament
But I come from a school that was a real coliseum
And I learned more about justice at recess than these idiots
You bet (Yeah), remember my name, I'm Jimmy (Uh)
Charming redhead just like Ron Weasley (Ha)
I show off riding a skateboard, scooter, or bike
You'll always see me with bitches in the hallways, yo
Your highly reputed saga
Became an online game in constant update (Yeah, yeah)
Until a kid from my generation showed up
And leaked the next-gen installment
What a letdown (Woah, woah)
Now all the fans prefer to see my sequel on the living room's Play 5
I don't give a damn about your tough guy act
My mission always consists of being the one who bullies the biggest bully, yo

[Arthur Morgan]
Five guys acting like kids and a kid as such
If that's something to admire, I'm out
Your empty brains have no clue about right and wrong
For that, let an outlaw speak
Arthur Morgan (Yeah), I came to show you who's in charge
What a bunch pretending to be real gangsters
My men would surround you like in a gangbang
And if anyone resists among your gang, bang!
Those of us in Van Der Linde in his gang
We've shed more blood than Cash in Manhunt
And if tuberculosis hadn't defeated me
I'm sure I'd still have the Old West in my palm (Ugh)
But it was precisely that moment, my death
That made me embrace my regrets
For all those violent acts
That fed my pride and starved my time
And although I don't regret what I've lived with my squad
From every failed robbery attempt
From Cornwall and his grudge, or Micah and his betrayal (Yes)
I only take pride in saving my brother John's skin

[John Marston and Arthur Morgan]
Hey, my life is a western movie
I'm the most wanted outlaw in the West
And I know I should leave all this life behind even if it's hard
Dedicate myself to my family while I light up another Chester
Fifty million on my head, bet on it
If tomorrow the Sun rises under the blue sky
Too many burdens I carry like a cross, ha
My salvation and damnation is called Dutch
It hasn't been an easy road
Tsk, not for me
And at this point, what do we do?
We just keep going
Knowing we did something good for those we won't see anymore
But neither chaos nor fear are things to boast about
Although, yes
Every time they mention us
They must acknowledge the greatness of our work
And our dishonor
We are lights and shadows
That's why, for video games, we are true rockstars