Resident Evil Village Rap

Ethan Winters is back
Here comes the second part of the tale
And what can I tell you?
That I was calm with my beloved Mia
And my daughter Rose Mary, very happy and content
I wanted to catch my breath
After that traumatic event
But something must have looked at me askance
Because my wife has been shot point-blank
I thought these things didn't happen in Europe, damn!
Was it Chris Redfield?
Now it's for sure
I don't understand what the hell is going on here
He takes the girl from me, knocks me out
The car turns to mush, but I'm still here
I make my way and arrive at a village of lycanthropes
God damn it!
There's no rest here, right?
I guess Capcom doesn't like me, bro
Well, alright, I'll take care of it

I've arrived at this place
I can't go back
This wasn't my
Plan for rural tourism
Vampires and lycans, and mushrooms, what else?
That's the local fauna where evil resides

Let's see if I understand
Four monarchs rule this whole village
And if I want to see Rose again
I have to put her pieces together like a Lego
Let's go!

Lady Dimitrescu
I don't know what you think
But there's plenty of room on my face for you to sit
I'd let you play with me like Playskool
If you weren't a bloodthirsty monster

I don't know if you know about House Beneviento
But don't make too much noise, there's a baby inside
And it's not happy
I know where Moreau is
By his distinctive scent of excrement
I'll kill him if I find him

I came to bring order
Heisenberg, do you want me to say your name?
I showed you that it doesn't matter if you hide
You'll be a magnet for the bullets of my revolver

I've arrived at this place
I can't go back
This wasn't my
Plan for rural tourism
Vampires and lycans, and mushrooms, what else?
That's the local fauna where evil resides

Mother Miranda is the Big Boss
Who hides behind a mask
What does it matter?
If I've come to this place
It's to see how she rests in peace
That's it!

Another upgrade for my gun
In the middle of this maze, I'm going to hit you with balls
Hold up!
I need that chicken for a stew
Because the Duke knows that without recipes there's no paradise
Make me go through ten floors
Do you sense my lament?
I doubt it, because being indestructible is my talent
It doesn't matter if my ligaments are torn
Or if my hand is amputated
As long as I have medication in the other

I face this crew that
Has some super
Crazy skills due to the Cadou
That prevents them from expiring
Let me take care of it
I'm going to make them burst without using a hadouken

I've arrived at this place
I can't go back
This wasn't my
Plan for rural tourism
Vampires and lycans, and mushrooms, what else?
That's the local fauna where evil resides