Pero Te Quiero

Your hair is just a tiny part
of all the wildness you have, my love,
you've got hair on your back, on your belly
and even in your belly button, you've got a ton.

More than once I've gotten tangled
in the thick bushes of your canal,
you're King Kong, you're a tropical jungle
and I, babe, I'm your Tarzan.

Moving on... your mouth's not too bad
but your teeth are something supernatural
and I shouldn't be talking about teeth
but at least I usually keep mine clean.

Your bad breath killed the neighbor's Doberman,
200 sailors from a German ship,
in the zoo, they won't let you in,
the skunks said you smell really bad.

But I love you...
You're so ugly that when you sent your photo by email
the antivirus flagged it.

But I love you...
You were so ugly that the doctor said at birth:
If it doesn't cry, it's a tumor.

But I love you...
You were so ugly that you went to a beauty contest and they said
that they didn't accept professionals.

But I love you...
You were so ugly that when you were born
they put you in an incubator with tinted glass.

Moving on... your voice drives me crazy when I'm asleep
and you come at me with stuff like:
Like Fer, why don't you love me?
Why don't you hug me?
Why, why?

Damn, shut up, get off me,
your mom should hug you,
I just want to sleep.

And now that you're leaving, see if you can air out a bit, my love,
you've escaped again.

But there's nothing worse than your nymphomania,
you've got me going all night and day,
my poor little flute can't take it anymore,
you don't give it a second of peace.

You're an insatiable being,
you destroy inflatable dolls
with just one poke.
Your bed's a Roman circus and I'm the Christian
who trembles waiting for the lion.

But I love you...
But I love you...
you chose to be a prostitute and died a virgin.

But I love you...
you were so ugly that your mom instead of breastfeeding you turned her back.

But I love you...
you were so ugly that you made onions cry.

But I love you...
and no matter what I say, you come off better than Sharon Stone.
With your hair, I could make two coats
that keep out the cold better than mink,
your body odor counters the hellish smell of my feet
and that's something great.
Your huge sexual appetite is better than a gym,
with you, I'm better off than a kid.

But I love you...
the doctor said at birth: If a bat flies...

But I love you...
at Carnival, you went to buy a mask and they only gave you the elastic.

But I love you...
Ugly.

But I love you...

But I love you...
you were so ugly that instead of menstruation
you had monster-struation.

Tururu... tururu...
tiritirii... param param...
Dara dara dararara... Pu pu pu...

But I love you... Uh...