Me Enganei Com Minha Noiva

When I was single, I lived
It was the biggest hassle
Because I was so ugly
The girls didn't want me
When I went to a dance
With any of my friends
They trusted me
I’d drink and dance
At the end of the party, I’d argue
And I’d be the one getting arrested

And to find a girlfriend
I’ve always been a wuss
I sang samba, played the accordion
Had my hair dyed blonde
With a mouth full of gold
I shined bright during the day
When I went to a dance
I smelled like a rose
But when I tried to chat
The girls didn’t want me

I said it’s a hex
That someone put on me and it won’t lift
That my mom married my dad
And my grandpa married my grandma
Even my brother Chicó
Much uglier than me
Dated, married, lived
With two women, even
I just can’t find a girl
Who wants to get close to me?

But God in heaven, forgot
Jesus also lost track
And Vicença showed up
With big eyes and a sweet smile
Our love mixed together
Like beans and rice
We fell for each other
With such a violent love
That we set the wedding date
For four days later

On the day I was to tie the knot
I got ready, so did she
I took her hand
Went to the church to marry
I reached the altar
Received the holy blessing
Swore to have no quarrels
Between me and my wife
The priest said some things
And I went to live with Vicença

I got home, but she
I quickly started to settle in
Because I was thinking
About sleeping with a woman
Vicença put on a show
In the little room
Broke some stuff we had
Threatened me with a gun
Ended up sleeping in the living room
And I went to sleep in the kitchen

I lost my taste for life
Because Vicença did this
In the morning, I went to work
But I was dying of sorrow
I got home after sunset
Vicença welcomed me
Even brewed some coffee
Set it for us to eat
But when she went to lie down
She didn’t even look at me

I lost my faith in life
Called about thirty names
Put a knife in my belt
Went to talk to Vicença
Vicença gave me the sickness
When I said I loved her
And she asked - who do you think I am?
I only married you
To do you a favor

I slammed her to the ground
Pulled out the knife
Cut the waistband of her dress
And the elastic of her shorts
Vicença was right
For not wanting me
It wasn’t out of disgust
Or for any other reason
Does Vicença know who I was?
I was a man just like her

I regretted it a lot
Because I married her
I spoke right away with her dad
And in the morning, I divorced
I felt great sorrow
That almost killed me, even
A man dressed as a woman
There are many out there
I’ll only marry another now
Knowing right away who they are.