Espejismos

I feel like I've never felt before
I know everything I gained, but I also remember all that I lost
You can look to one side, you can look at yourself
But that will never change the way you did it

How many times? How many times do you let yourself fall
Because of the fear of the abyss and pleasure
For not knowing how to manage, cry and relapse
For finding a reason to reject yesterday

And now that I see in my eyes
What a mirror never taught me, now that I hardly even complain
We feel weak, because we cling to fear
Ashes dying in an ashtray

Of course I love you, even though I know sometimes I don't show it
I love the nickname you gave me
Because only you and I know
And even if I explain it to others, no one else will understand ours

And I think we forget what we are, what we have
Life taking turns with poison
Me looking at what it brought anew
A disappointment, another memory for this hell

And well in the end we are what we will be
Me part of me and my silence
You part of that bubble, your only universe
The one you frequent when reality has no context

And I see a world that destroys, that no longer loves
A phone that sees you don't call
A mother waiting for you at home
Another with three children on the street cries because they are evicted

I who hate disorder, seek calm
You who look at me with those desires
I who go crazy every morning
I start writing to see if writing calms me

But nothing calms me! I observe and envy those who enjoy
But I know he is not to blame either
The poor will be poor no matter how much he argues
Money is for the rich, that's why earning it dirties

Fame sucks, it's a false ego that extinguishes you
That takes away what you loved most
No matter how much you can show off money and a house
I know that when you go to sleep there's something missing

And it's a dream, to fly without fear
Although this life gives me everything except everything I want
And do I really know what I want?
Another doubt that will remain unanswered

From bad comes the best
From the fall a flight is reborn
And from each wound purifies a tear that hides
In the smallest corners of your sky

And now that I'm dying to be well
And I keep fighting when my temples tighten
I feel unable to be on the train car
That stops at the stations of those who never see

Because when we are blind, it's not us, it's fear
It's the part we don't know
It's death within the life we lead
That's why we long, but we hardly ever see