Funeral

(Where is my family)
(It’s my funeral, I planned it to see them)

I need help, why can’t anyone see?
I’m screaming loud and soft at the same time
I try to love myself but end up hating me
I want you close but I’ve pushed you away
Damn, what have I done?
I hurt myself
I’m treating myself like shit
Then I romanticize it
I’m just another sad kid
Eyes like a bottomless pit
The abandoned child
That no one ever saw

Where is my family?
It’s my funeral, I planned it to see them
Now it’s raining in hell
And I can’t save myself
I wanted to see them
Where is the love?
That a few years ago swore it wouldn’t leave me
God, I’m tired
Come down and help me
Or I’ll go to heaven
I’ll kill your angels

I want everything I can’t have
And I wish someone would hug me tight right now
And tell me, Juan Andrés, everything will be alright
I’m happy to have you
In my mind, I imagined a home
Full of flowers and smiles to arrive at
But now I’m the weirdo at college
No one wants to talk to me
They feel my darkness

Just tell me I’m not as bad as I think
And that the night brings new beginnings
Just lend me a feeling, I’ll return it in a moment
I know I said I’m fine, but I’m lying
Haven’t been happy in a long time
So let’s blame it on time
And toast to this moment

Where is my family?
It’s my funeral, I planned it to see them
Now it’s raining in hell
And I can’t save myself
I wanted to see them!
Where is the love?!
That a few years ago swore it wouldn’t leave me
God, I’m tired
Come down and help me
Or I’ll go to heaven
I’ll kill your angels