El Noticiero

This is the morning news
The only one that says whatever it wants
After a break we return
With the most complete of what we endure

O.J. was acquitted
Michael paid ten million as an apology
Another undocumented person was beaten
It was self-defense, said the jury

The ex-president went on the run
With everything he took from his people
He plays in a casino in Monte Carlo
And drinks champagne, and no one will judge him here

It's going to snow in Haiti
And it's below zero in Puerto Rico
Don't leave there
As traffic is at rush hour
And there's more smog than in Chernobyl
Embrace your loved ones and hold on tight
Here it's not good to help
But not to bother, remember

The Vatican banned contraceptives
They prefer children with hunger than a condom
And storks work double shifts
Thinking of opening branches on Saturn

Soccer is gaining ground in the United States
They want to change the structure so it makes sense
They have to enlarge the goals and call eight timeouts
To sell us junk

It's believed that the chupacabra is a typical case
A product of the mixture between two politicians
It's a stealthy predator
Have you ever seen such a resemblance?

It's going to snow in Haiti
And it's below zero in Puerto Rico
Don't leave there
As traffic is at rush hour
And there's more smog than in Chernobyl
Embrace your loved ones and hold on tight
Here it's not good to help
But not to bother, remember

If we seemed sensationalist to you
We apologize, there were no optimistic news

It's going to snow in Haiti
And it's below zero in Puerto Rico
Don't leave there
As traffic is at rush hour
And there's more smog than in Chernobyl
Embrace your loved ones and hold on tight
Here it's not good to help
But not to bother, remember

Until tomorrow...