Hundido

You say I live in a prison
And that after so many visits, you’re tired
You say you’re scared I might escape one day
But I’m scared to let you in

And it’s so cold in here
It’s never gonna stop snowing
There are just bars and a worn-out mattress
Where I usually sit and cry

But today I’m not here to make you feel sorry
I’m just here to tell you
I had to travel from north to south
This head that won’t stop spinning

Every little star that shines a light
Inside this old Nautilus under the sea
It was the fault of this wandering thirst that lost me
But I’ve gone a whole day without drinking

If I didn’t need scissors to cut my soul
I don’t need them to shed my skin

It’s the heartbeat that when I reach the edge of the knife
There won’t be anything left to cut
The certainty of your wax body and me on fire
The fragility of a warrior
Thinking that the only way to share a life with you
Is to take yours away

What do you expect from me if I can barely hold on
If I feel you so close I don’t know why I write so low
If I only had one hand
And you took my best cards
I’ve been stumbling around since then
Waiting
Thinking about how to do it and, if possible, right
Betting more than I ever had
Learning
To feel comfortable in defeat
And then, like a hammer blow in the middle of the scale, an apology to chaos
Let’s get our hands dirty, let’s do it together
Let’s ride towards extinction with our hearts
Like a fist
In one hand
And all our dreams in the other

You say you feel me so far away
That you can’t reach me
It must be something like what I feel
When I look at you through my glass

You keep track of every single day
That I’ve spent digging in my garden
What you don’t know is that my life
Was making a tunnel to get out of here

But today I’m not here to make you feel sorry
I’m just here to tell you
I had to travel from north to south
This head that won’t stop spinning

Every little star that shines a light
Inside this old Nautilus under the sea
It was the fault of this wandering thirst that lost me
But I’ve gone a whole day without drinking

If I didn’t need scissors to cut my soul
I don’t need them to shed my skin

How do I explain to you that I want nothing more
Than this gathering of beers and endless nights
But that every whisper was, like every disappointment
Like every glance before that
Like every night without sleep
Truth
Like every I love you shot like it melted on the tongue
Every wink at the sky hoping to profit from the fall of a star
Every Warren Zevon song while I miss you
And I smoke that cigarette I always blamed you for when getting out of bed
Like inevitable death
Like this bandage on the wound that we are
Truth
And now
That we’re begging for love like someone asking what happened to the rain
Now, that we’re surviving on half hugs and full kisses
Now that we’re clear that either we die silent
Or we’re gonna fill everything with reproaches
Now, everything could be summed up as it was a good dance
And, like in one
I’m gonna pour myself another drink
Rest my elbow on the bar
And ask myself
Between sips
If it’s okay

Why
Does it hurt so much?

If I was the one who decided to be alone
If I was the one who decided to sink
This ship that has hit rock bottom
It was because I needed to discover

What’s behind the abyss of my eyes
What my skin is made of
Only when you’ve lost everything
Does the fear of losing disappear

Aiaiaiai fear assaults me
Aiaiaiai I almost fall
Stop with the aiai and be brave
I tell myself over and over and I

Aiaiaiai fear assaults me
Aiaiaiai I almost fall
Stop with the aiai and be brave
I tell myself over and over and I get up

Aiaiaiai and I get up
Aiaiaiai and I get up