Die Amerikaner

The Americans
are getting fatter
and not without reason
They constantly hear in commercials
That the food at Mc Donalds
is cheap, tasty, and healthy
And they spend the whole day in front of the TV,
even if the program is lousy
And they're interested in Paris Hilton
and I don't mean the Hilton in Paris.

And then their great economic concepts
On how to increase revenue
Starting by yelling at workers
Even if the company is in the black
And all the ugly graffiti
That cover their cities
And they celebrate grotesque parties,
like Halloween

And their language
Is full of Anglicisms
Yes, because everything sounds better in English
For example, secret state police
In America is simply called
NSA or FBI
And a word like CIA agent sounds really
Much more elegant and charming than
Torturer

And then the American students
According to the Pisa study, they're pretty dumb
That's why they all seem to use the genitive
Before the s with an apostrophe
But they're not bad at all in the many video games
Where you have to shoot people dead
Sometimes they even reenact them at their school,
but for real.

They acquire competencies early on
That they'll need later as soldiers
In search of oil and space for their people
In some rogue states
If we just take a look at all the things
That the Americans do
I can only say,
hey, it's good that such things
Don't happen in Germany
Never happen in Germany
Otherwise, we wouldn't be able to criticize
the Americans so easily.