El de Blanco

I feel a sick desire to write
But no, nothing comes out that I like, nothing that pleases me
And I feel the blank paper there with its new smell in front of me
Looking at me, mocking me, challenging me

You're blank, so am I, yet you challenge me
I suffered and thanks to me you possessed poetry
Now you bite the hand that gave you rhymes
You want to sway to the sound of the sea without knowing how to row

Writing is surgery to remove the tumor
A word cuts the chest to extract the pain
But for you, everything is easy, you just lie there
Hungry, waiting for blood from the poet you detest

Although we're both blank, it's not in your best interest to face me
My heart has been black since she chose to leave me
I'm sorry, because I'll tattoo my hell on your skin
Then I turn back to crow verses, your body has become flesh

I'm not playing God, but this world is mine
I didn't want to write to a heaven, hell is more lit
There you can have a threesome, here God gave free will
But it came with a trick, all the good is forbidden

Here you'll feel how the pain seeps into you
Are you blank? You're the target of my black tears
I write the rules and you challenged me
Bad idea, champion, you found the contrast in me

If you're happy all the time, then doubt
You're just a simple idiot or you need help
I can stain your whiteness with colors or brutal wounds
My words are brushes and daggers

Nervous again, I want to demolish the world on my shoulders
And then put its rubble at my feet
It's almost time to go on stage, people are waiting
And I'm trembling in blankness, fear is my adversary

I defeated the paper and now I must expose myself
To relive all the horror I left in it
And crumble before my audience hungry for morbid curiosity
They devour my misery and drink my soul in one gulp

Why did I come? Why do they want me to rhyme?
It seems they know what hurts me
What depresses me
I'm so insecure that I'm addicted to their applause
But I don't want to rap, I need a break

It infuriates me that half of my fans don't understand my rap
So half of that applause is fake
There are hundreds of faces I dare not look at
They scream my name so loud, they'll make me explode

Time is running out, my hands sweat, I tremble
I can't make a mistake, everyone is watching
I must set a good example but how can I?
I came to the concert to rap what I feel, I'm sorry

I'm willing to die at the end of each rhyme
But the audience senses it, so they end them for me
And before you judge my alcoholism
Dig with your nails into the misery at the bottom of the abyss

I take responsibility for my mistake, I accept it stoically
Now I ask for forgiveness, I've forgiven myself
Don't ask about my life, whether it's rap or you, I'll be honest
The audience paid to see me burn, so let it be; fire