La Odisea Pt. 3

The seas sway to the rhythm of your laments
Alone the waves speak to me of those torments
The moon complains about the handling of poets
Sorrow leaves us longing for amphetamines
I have no desires, no goals, yet I still go in search of you

I still have much to say, many worlds to define
I fight fiercely with my lethargy, there are still rhymes to build
But sometimes I feel mute, with a gentle knot in my throat
The heart in naked shock because it couldn't be written
Sometimes I feel old and full of complexes
When I hate myself more than ever, the whole world is a mirror
In my rap, I leave from my soul to my skin
Although the public celebrates it, I am more alone, I am further away

I was never strong but I defeated fate, convinced death
I will do whatever it takes to have you. I know you exist
Upon finding you, you will see that there is no more fertile place for a rhyme
Than the anguish of a sad poet

There is no sweeter love than that of dew and flower
Nor more delicious pleasure than seeing you undress
There is no worse mistake than making it twice, nor worse pain
Than seeing the inner child grow because you insist

At times, songs, passions, constellations, visions
Prayers and even illusions I carry within
I search for the exact words, I can't find them
I can't translate all of this, although damn it! I try
I'm sorry, because this is pure feeling
It's drawing dead people connecting the dots of the firmament
It's my mother smiling before putting me to sleep, telling me a story
While her face is decaying

Yes, it starts to rain
The lightning flashes morbidly on the corpse
I suffer like a blind man eager to see again
And to touch with anxious hands the woman
To whom he gave his eyes, the one who in a whim of anger
Left him and said laughing, I'll wait for you in red
And so the blind man imagined the sound of that color
Without knowing, he only obtained the gray buzz of pain
And he was back in his bed, imagining looking out the window
Thinking that thinking will heal his morning, so he kissed and thought
Without rest, I meanwhile think of myself and the apple
Only one verse separates us
And from much thinking and little sleep
I forgot that to smile it wasn't necessary to pretend
And so I knew to conclude that including my soul in writing
Is to destroy myself for free, just flow to influence

Because fleeing would be a cowardly option
Like trying to speak to her and regretting it just before every evening
So many times I didn't know how to choose the right words
I swore quietly, someday you'll know

So today I try and search, face disgust, unjust moments
For what I believe is fair, I judge myself severely
I embed my fist in my chest
All to feel that in every rhyme I shine

I will lie down, stare at the ceiling and leave
Sit on the moon, sing myself a lullaby
Wrap myself up once and for all to then abandon myself
With a kiss on the forehead, all the stories will pass through me

To face is to confront that I don't want to face
I want to merge into a letter and never find myself, not be silent
That inexhaustible existence, me and my endless rhyme
She for rapping it, me for listening
I don't want to tell her, I don't want to confess to her
That the passage of time in me is indeed inexorable
But not because I want to, I have died in a thousand ways
But the world and the role of my paper still await something more

There are no limits, neither my shyness, nor my thousands of civilians
Fears will overcome my stubbornness
Solidity in difficult times is difficult
Still, all my disillusionment says, do you accept me?
How do you not see that my hell is already full?
Don't you see how my notebook is dying without pages?
Don't you see that I don't sleep, don't you see I tremble
And that I succumb all fragile when I can't find the rhyme?
You can't ask me, dismiss me from my rap
You can't prevent me from not feeling free and not vibrating
I know very well the skills I will exhibit
I will demand to be heard, also that no one looks at me
I will ride through the most arid deserts
I will draw your name on the horizon with wounded screams
I will bleed a religion from my fallen eyes
I will only be invalid if I fear or give up
I will travel through infinity with your scent in my beard
Asking the stars where they achieve the fleeting
For I heard that you will be there, waiting for eternity
Embroidering skies every night because that's how you will remember
That I fell from world to world to follow your path
Being second by seconds fertilized a deep pain
They are the celestial wounds, the ancestral pains
Crimson springs out of my eyes
They are the symbol of what I carry inside
I need to find my mask, I can't find it
Where are you? Let me see you, I traveled through time for you
Come out and stop hiding

You will give me peace, you will give me harmony
It's not an analogy, just a rhyme without bringing improvement
My philosophy day by day is a yeah!
But ahh!, I screw myself if I see a liquor store
It's that I suffered cold-blooded and tested my manhood
If yesterday my dignity and joy lay
There my soul would be drunk towards empty bottles
And in the most lamentable euphoria I chose my elegy