Querida Soledad

The moments are so serious
And the harmful feeling
That I have forged in the silence
Of my room and I want
To leave this suffering
That gnaws at me inside
Tearing me apart in solitude
And mercilessly I feel like I'm dying
I hope to be a new man
But I never overcome the fear
I despair and fear
Not being able to go on
Why is it that I don't dare
And I just think I can't
Drowning in sadness
All my existence

And I don't want any more
Of this solitude that day after day
Becomes a disaster

I have no one, I feel invisible
Among so many people
Replaceable, dispensable
A puppet that doesn't feel

And what do I do with this pain
If I've never had love
Or a hug to calm me
When I felt fear

The enormous void
Of my broken heart
Is a maze with no way out
Where I got lost

It tears my soul apart
Destroys my dreams
Infects my days and my existence
Ruins my life
Eats away at my mind
And makes me not want to go on
It agitates my chest
Shakes my fears
Brings down my fragile security
Steals my hope
Strikes my beliefs
Killing me dear solitude

Sometimes it seems
That my existence doesn't matter
Everyone laughs while I cry
But no one comforts me
And so much shyness
And my lack of self-esteem
Has created a huge wall
That only hurts me
And this cursed need
Made me more than a thousand times
Hold on and give everything
To those who don't deserve it
The fear of someone
Leaving and abandoning me
Has only brought me
Pain and disappointments

Maybe I am the problem
And I don't understand it, I tend to victimize myself without reason
I feel incapable again
Of living without others, I am so cowardly
And I don't want to feel this way
I don't know what to do to continue

And get out of that darkness
Of that damn abyss
Where I only
Feel sorry for myself

It tears my soul apart
Destroys my dreams
Infects my days and my existence
Ruins my life
Eats away at my mind
And makes me not want to go on
It agitates my chest
Shakes my fears
Brings down my fragile security
Steals my hope
Strikes my beliefs
Killing me dear solitude

No matter how hard I try
To do things right
In the end, no one truly values
My feelings
Even the people
Whom I loved with all my soul
Didn't hesitate to cause me
Terrible suffering

I wandered through this life
Shattered like a doll
With wounds in my heart
That left me empty
But every cycle has
Its beginning and its end
And this solitude gave me
Emotional independence

Tired of crying, I chose
To continue and I felt
That I was becoming
Stronger each time I lost
The fear of being alone
Since I realized
That it is self-love
That finally complements me

How many years
Looking outside for what was inside
Of my spirit
Shining with power from my center

Dear solitude
You were my most faithful companion
You made me find myself
And finally love myself

It tears my soul apart
Destroys my dreams
Infects my days and my existence
Ruins my life
Eats away at my mind
And makes me not want to go on
It agitates my chest
Shakes my fears
Brings down my fragile security
Steals my hope
Strikes my beliefs
Killing me dear solitude