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Say, what should we do with mother
What about now, in April
In April? Oh, with Easter
Now, does anyone know what she wants?
Oh, that's right, with Easter
We won't be in the country this year
Yes, we're going to Rhodos for a week
Definitely with the Volkskrant
Not for Easter, it's her birthday
She's turning sixty this year
Oh, that could be fun again
The whole gang together
What do you mean by: What should we do
Does she want a party or something
Oh, I still need to ask her
No, it's about the gift
Ooooooh the gift
Yes, the gift

Well, I was thinking a throw blanket
Or a nice tablecloth
No one has a tablecloth anymore
Or a beautiful leather pouf
Oh, what does she need that for
Well, what did you guys think
Just give her a pressure cooker
That's with high pressure
And a knob to turn
No, that will break with her

Do you remember that little radio
She got on Mother's Day
I think after fourteen days
It was in the trash
Every clock she winds up
Stops after two minutes
Give her a meccano set then
She can screw nuts all she wants

You better say something sensible
Hey, you're such a jerk
Let's take her out to eat
Avi Fauna, Jan Tabak
Eating is nothing special
You act like she never eats
Well, you don't have to bark like that
Don't ask if I know something

We'll give her a coffee grinder
The one she has now is so old
Everything she has is getting older
It's time for her to remarry
To a slightly rich guy
Can get rid of all that old junk
You're such a jerk too
It's a shame I have to say it

Is that it, a coffee grinder
Oh, it has to be expensive again
Otherwise, it's not chic
It doesn't have to cost a fortune
Give her a plant for a buck
Or a nice cup and saucer
If that's how it has to be, I won't give anything

And it has to be something nice
Not too big and not too small
Something she can see
How grateful we are

We'll give her a painting
Another herd on the heath
No, she has enough of those
Give her a voucher for the pub
She can get really drunk
Yes, that might be fun
Oh, she never drinks a drop
Well, I saw her last time
Then I saw her at Krasnapolsky
In the lounge with Aunt Cor
I think they were both
As drunk as a skunk
You're crazy, that wasn't her
Well, she waved when I looked
What did you do? Oh, I was talking
About a second mortgage

God, that mother is a drinker
Yes, you got it from her
Hey, look at yourself
Well, just shut up
I don't have to go to Veenhuizen
Every few months for a week
You shouldn't be surprised
If I break your legs later

Come on guys, no fighting
Say what she should have
How about a leather handbag
With a matching hat
Give her a few new stockings
I used to get them from her
Or six new panties
Yeah, just shut up
Doesn't she need anything for the house
Yes, a nice chair or something
Or a cute rug
No, she doesn't consider that a gift

Let's give her a pet
A boxer or a parrot
She can talk to in the evenings
Give her a white shark
She can swim with in the mornings
No, that's nonsense, you know what
We'll give her a subscription
To some nice magazine
Have you ever seen mother read
Well, she reads the Story
Wait, yes I know
She's getting a trip to Israel

Yes, she can sit on the roof
Yes, that's way too expensive
If she wants to complain
She can do it to her own wall
I just got a Volvo
I need a vacation
Look, that's the true love
From the children to their mom
No, we won't do that at sixty
We'll do it at sixty-five
God, she might be dead by then
Well, then she's out of luck
No, we'll give her a facelift
So she doesn't have such an old face
She can think about getting married again
Hey, stop that

Should we give her a moped
Yes, that's a nice idea
We have to insure it well
Otherwise, we'll be stuck with it
Yes, because with that Volkswagen
She ran over everyone
She'll also get a moped helmet
She'll be just like Andre van Duin

No, we're not getting anywhere like this
No one has a good idea
Let's just send flowers
And then an evening dinner
Could there be nothing nice
Not too big and not too small
Something she can see
How grateful we are

Say, is mother insured
Is she in a burial fund
No, I don't think for herself
She paid for us
Well, that needs to be arranged quickly
This is the opportunity
If we keep waiting longer
We'll lose more money
Did you want to order a grave
Yes, a tombstone and a coffin
You're crazy, she's only sixty
She definitely needs it
And that's what she'll get as a gift
We'll order it alone
And then we'll give her flowers
Just get a wreath right away
Yes, a nice little wreath
Not too big and not too small
On the ribbon she can read
How grateful we are