Sneker cafe

The decor is boldly old-fashioned
The walls are dull, the curtains are bland
The drinks are good, but there’s not much choice
The facade isn’t pretentious
Yet it’s been packed here every day since forever
It played a role in countless lives
The insiders know what I’m talking about
A beloved little cafe in Sneek

The town is in an agricultural area
And is well-known for its farming
Especially the Sneek Week draws a big crowd
Still, people are pretty laid-back
A newcomer finds it hard to connect
Until they get to know him and the suspicion fades
Then he hears stories from both pro and novice
About a little cafe in Sneek

There was a girl of seventeen
The only child of a wine merchant
Who once sought shelter in the Jura
Lost as she was on a trek
She found an abandoned house by the woods
And sensed right away: something’s not right
She dared a peek through the window and what did she see?
The skeleton of a long-missing
Traveling salesman of toiletries
Who once stayed with his uncle and aunt in Bordeaux
And they had almost the exact same lampshade as
In a little cafe in Sneek

A boy with a knack for accounting
Sought fitting work in a tropical city
He came from a mountain village, was not used to much
And certainly no entertainment
His savings were soon all spent
And he became socially awkward
It seemed he succumbed behind a gambling den
To blood loss from knife wounds inflicted by a former musician
Who once played at a big garden party
For the opening of a branch
Of a European factory that supplied a lot of glassware to hospitality businesses
Among others
To a little cafe in Sneek

You can see how this cafe keeps
Influencing social interactions
How here and there, even overseas
People stumble upon this Sneek cafe
It’s inexplicable and almost eerie
A fact that fills the world with dread
I myself, for example, went to a pharmacy
And saw an older lady
Who bore a striking resemblance to the landlady
Of a good friend from my college days
Who evicted him
When he knocked over a table in the hallway
Causing an ashtray to break
That reminded her of a vacation in Lugano
Because there were two Amsterdam partners
Staying at the same hotel
And she had gotten in touch with them
And their names were Sam and Moos
By the way, that reminds me of a capital joke
Ha ha ha ha ha ha
Think about it
But our time is limited
And besides, maybe you’ve heard it before
Moreover, the joke isn’t that funny upon reflection
But to the point
Those two Amsterdammers always sat in the dining hall under a painting
Of a family eating potatoes
And what do you know?
That painting also appears in a song
That, by the way, isn’t even about wall decoration
But actually about
You’ll never guess
About a little cafe in Sneek.