Mi Coleguita (My Little Good Friend)

I have a buddy who's an actor
An actor in porn films
I watch his movies and I get
I get hotter than an oven door

I have a buddy who's an actor
Actor in porn films

I've seen him play a plumber
Who entered a lady's house
My friend said good morning to her
The lady said how joyful

Take, take, take, take, take
Take, take, take and take
And he fixed the pipes

That's my little good friend
That's my little good friend
That's my little good friend
That's my little good friend

He played a gas station attendant
A Chinese lady arrived with her car
The lady wanted gasoline
My friend said we don't have any

But take, take, take, take, take
Take, take, take and take
Now your tank is full

That's my little good friend
That's my little good friend
That's my little good friend
That's my little good friend
Take, take, take, take
Take, take, take, take
That's my little good friend

I've seen him play a pastry chef
Who was in his bakery
A very pretty girl arrived
A girl who wanted a cream stick

Take, take, take, take, take
Take, take, take and take
The stick and the cream

He made a movie about farmers
And he was milking a cow
A very pretty girl arrived
And she envied the cow

Take, take, take, take, take
Take, take, take and take
The pretty girl and then the cow

That's my little good friend
That's my little good friend
That's my little good friend
That's my little good friend
Take, take, take, take
Take, take, take, take
That's my little good friend
Take, take, take, take
Take, take, take, take
That's my little good friend
Take, take, take, take
Take, take, take, take

I saw it all in a movie where he played a sheriff
He arrived at the Alapahoe Indian village
And he went into a store with a red-skinned Indian woman
Who had two braids covering her breasts
And when my buddy lifted the Indian woman's skirt
Turns out she wasn't an Indian
But a red-skinned Indian man who put my buddy on all fours
And it wasn't the skin that made him red
But something else that hurts much more
You have to see how things are in the movies
What seemed like an Indian was actually an Indian

Indian is my little good friend
You can't imagine the shock of my little good friend
He would have preferred to have his scalp torn off
Or to be buried in the desert with his head sticking out
So the scorpions could eat him
But no
My buddy got his backside scorched
And that's why he said
I'm not going back to the Indian village
Well, I'm not making any more sheriff movies
He was so excited to ride on top of an Indian
And turns out the Indian put him on all fours and shoved the whole cannon up his backside
Left my buddy's hub red
And since then my buddy doesn't make movies anymore