No Estar Aquí

And I stand here, standing here,
looking from side to side and feeling so stupid, so stupid, among so many bouncing balls that bounce and bounce non-stop, non-stop, non-stop.

I would have preferred to go out and not talk to anyone.
I would have preferred not to come.
I would have preferred not to be here, not to be here.

It's so heartbreaking every time you repeat so much, that you repeat so much the pain, the pain you feel near me, the old women, who give me all their hatred in their gaze, the hatred of all their lives, of not having done anything, it doesn't affect me as much as when you make me feel that the love I give you is so cheap, so cheap, so cheap.
And not being, not being here.