El y Yo

Your boyfriend is the classic jerk
Who wears socks
With dress shoes

The typical unevolved being
Accelerated Neanderthal
One of those who bullied me

Your boyfriend is an excellent athlete
Who plays shirtless
And almost always scores a goal

And I can't even go to the store
Or climb a ladder
Without using salbutamol

Your boyfriend uses words like 'aiga'
'Get up there' and 'you went'
Butchering the Spanish language

And I, with an advanced vocabulary
Always stuttering
If I want to talk to you about love

Your boyfriend loves to party
To toast with banda music
And watch reality shows

And yet he has you in love
And I can't do anything
To get out of the friendzone

He drinks beer in two gulps
Belches like a Spartan
While asking for a refill

Your boyfriend has more than a thousand flaws
But even with all that
He has you

He takes photos lifting weights
And plucks his eyebrows
To look somewhat better

He has below-average intellect
And although I'm not afraid of him
Please don't tell him

If you choose between him and me
That you're better off with him
Then I'll leave in peace

If you prefer him, may God bless you
If he cheats on you with your friend
You deserve that and more

But don't come complaining to me
I don't want to be your friend
Or your shoulder to cry on

If one day he leaves you for someone better
Oh, good for you, dumbass!
Don't look for someone to blame

Because as your boyfriend says
You chose him
Over me