Emiliano Y Juana

Emiliano was chilling at home one night
When a strange voice from outside started to talk to him
He couldn't hear well, so he went up to the rooftop
It was God

And they started to chat
How do I really know that you are God?
Emiliano said to the voice
God showed his life before his eyes
Then said
Don't tell anyone
This is just between us

The next day, Emiliano woke up
And went like every morning to the office
To work
He kept a very important secret
As I know it, I'll share it with you
He should start a revolution
Like Zapata did in Mexico many years ago

Emiliano didn't know where to begin
So he started to grow out his mustache
He also began to drink a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of tequila
And every night he got really drunk
He always fought with his wife who didn't understand him
Until one night she left him for a loser

She told him
Emiliano, I can't stand you anymore
All day eating nachos
That hat is so ridiculous
I'm starting over
But I'm doing it without you

Emiliano didn't know what to do about his problem
He wrote history books and started to research
But soon he gave up because he realized that his problem
Was a matter of time and place

He went up to the rooftop to ask for help
Because it's not easy to start a revolution alone
He prayed to his God, even prayed to Buddha
And then he started shouting and cursing for not getting an answer
The neighbors reported him
And he spent the whole night in jail
The next day he got fired for being late
And that's how his revolution ended

Juana has been working in the kitchen of a dive bar for years
One afternoon she went out back to take out the trash
When she heard a loud voice talking to her
Hello Juana, let me introduce myself, I'm God
Haha, I'm Joan of Arc
She replied
She went back inside like nothing happened
And then while cooking
She severely burned herself with oil

After leaving the hospital
Poor Juana was in pretty bad shape
She met a man who cared for her and treated her well
With a troubled past too
He had a long white beard and smoked a cigar
He introduced himself

His name was Emiliano
They had things in common
Both had had a vision and didn't believe in religion
They had heard a voice
That ended up hating them
So now they're planning for 2013
To have the Antichrist between the two of them