Verte Dormir

I grab the pen and start each letter
Saying hello while starting another
I end up filling a bag with papers
Destined to you with the same sender
Hours pass, the page remains blank
Having you in front of me is the opposite
But I'm afraid something might be missing
I want to do it right, not like the rest of the world

I want you to know I'm not seeking forgiveness
Don't forgive me, I'll surely understand
I want you to know the mistake I made
I did it for me, out of love for myself

Because I know you don't settle for loves
Pretty ones like you catch everyone's eyes
I stepped back, not because you didn't matter
But because everything you did killed me

And you left me
With my heart in tiny little pieces
So small you can't see them under a microscope
You're not my woman
And yet the goodbye will come at dawn
Because you, like me
Scream for freedom
I never understood, because it wasn't like that
I just wanted you to be mine
And consequently, be the same for you
But everything that serves ends, my grandma said
But she never said how damn awful it feels
That you cried acid burning your cheeks
And a salty taste that lingers all day
And those kisses with that little mouth
Stay trapped like that first date
I just wanted to watch you sleep
Wanted to imagine you were thinking of me

But everything ended today, you look so good
That if you come back to me, I don't know what to do
Because I never knew what I needed from you
And you never understood all I longed for
But to see you sleep
I don't want to die
To have you by my side

Meanwhile, my world was closing in
What I didn't want to return was coming back
I was losing my oxygen and knew nothing about you
Because I didn't deserve a call from you
I had sworn I wouldn't suffer for love
Because this damn heart is so stupid
It keeps waiting for the right one to come
And at the end of the day, it always ends up in nothing
I'm enjoying a momentary rage
But I'm used to it
From all I've been through
I always come out
Although not always unscathed
I have cannon holes for every kiss
Every part of my body bears your mark
While I waited for you
You kept moving away from me
You didn't remember how much I adored you
You always found the best excuses
I'm not God, nor do I pretend to be perfect
To deserve you, to make you fall in love
Why miss you when it's just a matter of time
I don't think crying can bring back the dream
Of seeing you asleep, a mirrored reflection
Your face and mine
Two souls found, today
I have nothing left but my thoughts
Thinking of you has run out of ideas
It's needless to say I still love you
And that like me, no one will come into your life
That your little smile, you believed shone with me
Deep down, I know you loved me
That every time you fought with me
You were checking my status on Chat
That any idiot who comes into your future
You'll compare to me, I assure you
However, if you understand the message
My rage fades away
We look for glue and stick together
The tiny little pieces
So small you can't see them under a microscope
And we start over
And in the letter I write to you
I'll add a postscript, please call me my love
I don't want to spend a single damn day without you
And at the end of the story, it will end happily
But everything ended...