La strana famiglia

Let me introduce you to my family
we don’t wear makeup, we don’t cheat
we're the most unfortunate in Italy,
even though we suffer a lot
we're good listeners
we have the highest audience ratings.

My parents, two old fogies
spent half an hour insulting each other
to "We Loved Each Other So Much,"
from embarrassment, Uncle Evaristo
hid away, poor guy,
they’ve already reported him to "Where Are They Now?"

Ginetto from the Idroscalo
when his wife tells him to "fuck off"
cries live with Sandra Milo,
not to mention my brother
who broke his neck
now he plays dead on "Yellow Phone."

What’s your name, where are you calling from,
there are plenty of prizes for everyone,
hello, hello, hello, so many tokens, so many millions,
hello, hello, hello with Berlusconi or RAI.

And down in Aspromonte, I have relatives,
I saw them looking pretty happy
on the "Kidnapping Special,"
while in Rome, there’s Uncle Renzo
who’s illiterate but wrote a novel
he’s always there with Maurizio Costanzo.

And Grandma Piera’s luck
who killed her lover with a shotgun
she got twenty years on "A Day in Court;"
my uncle who lost his goat in the mountains
that had been his companion for years
made even Castagna cry.

What’s your name, where are you calling from,
there are plenty of prizes for everyone,
hello, hello, hello, so many tokens, so many millions,
hello, hello, hello with Berlusconi or RAI.

And then who’s there? Oh right, Tamara
a hooker from Viale Zara
who gave lessons to Giuliano Ferrara,
and finally there’s Grandpa Renato
who’s had AIDS since he was born
he had a triumph with Mino D'Amato.

I’ve introduced you to my family
we don’t wear makeup, we don’t cheat
we're the most unfortunate in Italy.
The beautiful smiling country
where they happily speculate
on the misfortunes of the people.

What’s your name, where are you calling from,
we’re all going crazy,
hello, hello, hello, we’re all becoming idiots,
hello, hello, hello with Berlusconi or RAI.