Links, Rechts

Back in the days when Harry drank more than he taught,
The world was so simple and clear-cut.
It was either left or right.
And nothing in between.
Seriously, everything was divided into left and right.
A suit, for instance, was right. But a denim outfit was left.
Hitchhiking was left, cars were strangely enough right.
Except for that ugly Duck, that was a gray area.
A dime was left, a quarter was right.
Suicide was right, self-harm was left.
Meat was right, fish was left, goldfish was right.
Canal houses were right, squats were left.
Vacuum cleaner: left if used by a man, right if by a woman.
Yogurt was right, with granola left.
Jackets were right, for the audience left.
Porn was right, nudity left, naked art.
Palestinians left, Jews right, Anne Frank was complicated.
Heteros right, gays left, bi both, Koot alone.
Stereo left or right.
Soccer right, Piet Keyzer left, Johan Cruyff was two-footed.
Yoga left, skiing right, skiing in Austria was far-right.
Orange was right, green left, red runner, beep beep.
The Telegraaf was right, the Crazy Newspaper left, the crazies themselves: no idea.
Minima left, maxima right, and the father too.
Neighbors left, neighbors right, neighbors across the street, neighbors everywhere.
Judge right, lawyer left, with whipped cream right.
Sugar packets right, raw sugar packets left.
Stamps in the top right corner.
Blindly, upside down, Spui straight ahead.
And then you should ask it there again.
Marching: left, right, left, right.
America right, Cuba left, Belgium dumb.
Germany right, Berlin on one side left, and on the other side right.