Ansiedad

Relax
Close your eyes
And face your fears
Close your eyes

Sometimes you realize that your psyche betrays you
That nothing sets you free and time is what kills you
That your skin is made of tin and nothing stops it from rusting
That you don't see yourself capable of giving the world what it asks for
That fear resides in you with a rap that was my creed
That my finger points to the arena and she says I can't
I was her prisoner fed by her breast with poison
And no matter what they say, I think I'm not that good
Some days good, others empty, I cynically laugh
I say I trust, deceiving myself
Defeatism and selfishness in unison on the plane
I don't talk to God nor to my brother
I go up to my landing and think in vain that it's extensive
That indeed I see a ceiling that has composed what I think
Every step I look up high and fly low
And in the plans, she was the architect of my tower of failure
Of occasions, frustrations, compassions, and betrayals
Without reasons, I saw comforters in my bad decisions
Confusions of emotions without forgiveness and without excuse
I'm accused of being the son of the eyes of Medusa
Finally, a muse came, gave me life, and believed in me
Love went from myth to infinity like pi
When all I saw was a pit of contempt
I was foolish to doubt good deeds without a price
I sought appreciation in every gesture and that's why I'm alive
I demolish the miseries of the past when I write
Against something that was elusive, decisive in my path
I read myself between my eyes as if I were a fortune teller
Like a sudden abduction on the path to the divine
And maybe destiny already has my 'if not' written
And if not, I decide even if I'm still half wounded
In my dark heart, you can't beat me!
Chiseled by the cold since a child, now I smile
Filling that void and making the challenge mine
To rise among the dead, shedding light on my notebook
Like Lazarus, I cling while walking towards the eternal
Resurging from hell, winter came with my feat
Launching a protest against the imposed oppression
By my head that made a feast of insomnia
Unleashing the chains that tied me to the demon
I saw hell in nightmares and my father who told me
'I'll be with you, son,' dragging the crucifix
I faced my ghosts without armor with the cure
Of defeating that figure that cried dark blood
And oozed through my irises staining my skin
The trance, my romance, I enter and each paper
After that harsh silence that I ruthlessly annulled
His wall left my being mute without reality
To my being without reality

Listen to me
Follow my voice

He hunted me with his mace like many of my race
The battle in my head was a strip like in Gaza
In my cup, I saw tremors when the echo reproaches
Making me unstable like nitroglycerin
Like a mountain where I run and don't move
Like that bitter taste even though everything is new
I play with the pieces of a puzzle I can't finish
If I nail a nail in my hands on a cross that enslaves me
To its last episode like effervescent sodium
In my mind suddenly, hatred towards people is born
Without reasons even though I search or the gaze gets confused
Towards nothing in the chest, its programmed grenade
In front of the intermittent entity that kills me when it screams
Counting down because he released the pin
Sitting in this chair because the air doesn't breathe
I reflect in the mirror but it's her who looks at me
She spies on me on every path, deviates at every corner
Guesses and assassinates, turning you into a toxin
Blames and makes so many dramas yours
Acts mercilessly mistreating the ones you love
Like Hades burning in flames even if I don't ask him
He enjoys your agony without even taking your life
While digging into every wound, devouring your roots
Opening stabs that were already scars
But today I take control and walk on the edge of amnesia
Turning my rap into its epic anesthesia
Putting the beast to sleep and the wings that blind me
The gift is not the box, it's the hands that deliver it
And they cling to your skin like love or friendship
Today I can say I've overcome anxiety
That my acrobat ability was nomadic among anxieties
That I notice my dirty hands, between tears and wiles
After cold showers, many struggles on my shoulders
Dodging its gaze, burying it in the rubble
That I've left among the ruins of my ego (of my ego)
But I see behind the fire my new self reborn
The fire and the ashes, with its law and no debate
In combat without pawns, with my king in checkmate
Permanent with no more people than my lady
Today I changed darkness for a new outlook

Open your eyes