Ahora

Now that adolescence is a distant September,
beer smoke in a doorway, an unfinished summer.
Some years in the science faculty,
papers written, Cuban rum, leaves of grass,
a train asleep on a dead track,
the blue window light that was always open.

Now that the beaches of Corfu are so far away,
the train stations of Prague, Hamburg or Istanbul,
the trips that brought others wearing our bodies,
the light of a café, the converted loves.

Now that you get tired and the pools close,
and the starlight hastens the last swim.
Now that I return to the places I wanted to escape to
and no one is waiting for me there.
Now that I'm almost at the end of the month,
that I love a woman.

That I love a woman.

Now that I pay the bills, that I kissed in Havana,
that I dream of Lacandona, that I no longer write letters,
that we fulfill more years than promises,
that our hearts sink like old Venice,
that I arrive late to the cinemas and to the end of the world,
that I rent a small apartment in a sandcastle.

Now that hangovers hurt and cut like a razor.
Now that no one greets us in the bars of Malasaña,
that I ask for help, kisses and food over the phone,
that I smoke flowers and sometimes cry while I sleep.
Now that I tremble like an abandoned child.
Now that old friends have betrayed us.

Now is the time to start over, let the carnival begin,
the orgy in the Winter Palace, of flags and kisses.
My wings fell and I didn't give up,
so come here,
let's toast because today is always still,
I never liked goodbyes.