El Camino de Regreso

Until then I had never been terrified
of airports in this way.
Fill me with hugs, fill me with kisses,
I think they announced your flight.
And amidst tears your figure is devoured by the people,
and a foul beast sinks its sharp teeth into my soul.

Its sharp teeth.

I'm left with the metallic taste of loneliness
and I tear off the calendar.
I'm scared, I'm cold and I doubt,
and I review.
Fleeting and indeterminate, like a dream this story has begun
and I truly don't know if it was real.

Who would have thought I would find you on a casual night,
me playing the role of a clumsy sentimental.
'What are you doing here? I was about to leave,
it's so good to find you.'

And you and I motionless, and around us
colors spun, hours passed, faces.

Hours passed, faces.

But none of this was important,
'so tell me about yourself and don't stop.'
Barely leaving you with the music and its shrapnel.
'Tell me how everything was before.'
Although I seriously doubt if there really was a before,
I only remember well, clearly, that there was an after.

Amidst shoving, amidst the people,
I awkwardly approach with teenage palpitations,
in that bar where not even a ray of light enters,
I know outside, I know outside it's dawning.

I know outside it's dawning.

New reunions, new confessions, and suddenly I find myself
lost in an airport,
with the nightmares that accompany me day by day, mundane,
with which I torment myself:
To what rhythm do your hips sway,
what sweats feed you, I'm so afraid
that you'll forget the way back,
the way back.