Sin Tí

It was all laughter
Until my time ran out
It disappears quickly, fleeting, sorry to say
I had a moment of clarity that came
Followed by my laziness, look at me, damn it
Can't you see what’s happening to me?

I’m dying again
May the earth swallow you, it told me, while rubbing its eyes
I have no one left but my memories
And with this sadness, I soak it

The sun is my moon when the night
Keeps me up late
Doing nothing, looking at nothing
I don’t want my bed, it doesn’t even have blankets

Look me in the face and tell me what you see
Too much time not knowing what to do
If God sees me, have mercy
Make me fly free like a bird

Give me the key to find the door to you
The only one who understands me
I can’t, neither my mind nor my soul nor my flesh
It’s hard to sleep, but harder to get up

Girl, you’re everything I dreamed of
I never imagined that what you wanted
Was different from what I gave you
And now you leave me alone in this nightmare

And in this room, there’s still a heart
That misses what you did to me
I fight for your forgiveness, for the chance
To see you laugh again

She told me to face my fears, that fear
Would make me happy, she said I can do it alone
That I’ve made it here, I’m not the same
Miguel has changed since he tasted the abyss
I with my autism, with my desire
To be alone out of pure selfishness

Tell me what you want me to do if I feel cold
Your side of the bed is empty, I’m not a kid anymore
I sail with this ship, but the water isn’t my thing
I drink from myself, from my madness, when I lack tenderness

A thousand adventures that are left in the past
Past the hardest date
She told me to face my fears, that fear
Would make me happy, she said that
I can do it alone, but without you I can’t live

And it’s that without you I’ll never live
I can’t shine if it’s not by your side
I look out the window over and over
Hoping that you’ll come back to me

I don’t want to lose you, let me respond
To all the mistakes I’ve made
I’m scared again of disappearing
It’s how I feel without you, without you.