La Primera

Honestly
I would have liked much more
if it had been spring
and the first one
was that red-haired girl,
slim and sassy
who every afternoon
would ride with me on the tram
when the day fell asleep.

Honestly
I would have liked much more
if your body full
of ten-dollar bills and a separate bed,
but that's how it goes
and at that time I wasn't allowed to choose
and I don't mind
or feel ashamed
that in your sink
was my baptism of love.

You were honorable and sincere
and the first one
second-hand.

But, honestly
I would have liked much more
if that bed, a straw mattress
where the first one
had let herself be taken with shame,
between lies
and a bit of fun,
and slowly,
oozing tenderness.

Honestly
I would have liked much more
than being an apprentice
when at the door waits another person,
feeling the smell
of another who lay before me
and I don't mind
or feel ashamed.

You are part of my history
and that's why I can draw you
wishing to lower the flag.
Oh, the first one
second-hand.

Honestly
I would have liked much more
if it had been spring
and the first one
the continuation of those
green stories,
tender romances,
that the older brother lied about
sitting on the porch.

Honestly
I would have liked much more.
Benevolent
he likes virgins to the adolescent,
but, like you,
he eats what he finds on the street.