Como Te Digo Una "Co" Te Digo La "O"

Borja, if you choke I'll kill you
Finish the melon first
And then the three hours of digestion
What a bad time
But the child doesn't want to eat
Borja, sweetheart
I've told you hundreds and hundreds
Of times, fold that towel
What a beach fatigue!
But my husband wants Benidorm
He's gone mad, he's not stupid
Like my poor one
He stays in Madrid
To recharge his batteries
His dinner in Manila
His drink at Pachá
As I tell you a "co"
And how are you doing?
You look bad
Don't tell me more
If I told you
My father-in-law passed away
I had surgery for the cyst
Do you see me sadder?
And I'm grateful
Because at present
And, crossing my fingers
I can tell it
Although, thank God
I'm not a believer
With what one has seen
And may God forgive me
You don't have to be very smart
For me, Jesus Christ
The first communist
As I tell you a "co" I tell you the "o"
And religions?
Give me one of each
They're on sale
At El Corte Inglés
And which one is the best?
Look, mine
Because it's obvious
That there must be something
Call it X
I'm fine with that
Call it energy
Even better
And the priests?
Not even in paint
And tarot, and astrology?
I did them yesterday at the hair salon
And money?
The only true God
And Luther and Buddha and Muhammad?
Let them eat their bread
And what do you think of the Pope of Rome?
That one... A private individual
But what can I tell you?
Look, I
Without being a socialist
Of the card-carrying ones
And that's it about the gal
And the corruption
Yes, it existed
A bad flu
That had to be endured
But as I was saying, like my Felipe
For me there's no two
And if not, you yourself
Because the one with the mustache
Has no charisma
As I tell you a "co"
And there will be those who vote for him
There are people for everything
Spain is doing well!
Maybe for him
Yes, after all, he won in a raffle
What are you going to do?
Vote for the caliph?
Get real
He may be very honorable
I'm not saying he's not
And hardworking
And a golden peak
But outdated
As I tell you a "co" I tell you the "o"
But what I was saying
Last year
We booked a charter
From Tuesday to Tuesday
It was through that agency
Yes, the Falcon travel
Well as an experience
Did we like
Havana? My daughter
How could we not like it?
One is welcomed
With that Caribbean
And that Malecón
And the people?
Nice, super nice
I don't know, different
And that damn blockade
Left them, I'm not saying ugly
Because they're not ugly
And even the darkest one
Has education
But, poor things
Thin, thin
And without freedom
Whether it's Clinton or Fidel's fault
To me, look
It's all the same to me
To cut the story short
I didn't enjoy it
I'm not going back
Because, in Spain, even if you find faults
We know how to live
Just in Antón Martín
There are more bars than in all of Norway
By the way, the seafood
No comparison
Let me tell you about dinner
The two couples
Francisco, my Antonio
Almudena and I
Daughter, Almudena
I saw her all messed up
From me to you
She's a bit messed up
Because, truth be told
She's never been pretty
But that dress
Like from Almacenes Arias
She looked ordinary
But what I was saying
Where did we have dinner?
At Tomás' house
Hey, packed to the brim
We split the bill
A kilo of prawns
With their garlic sauce
A good tip
Pacharán and cigars
How much did they charge us?
It didn't reach two thousand pesetas
You tell me if it's expensive
And fresh? From the seaport
And clean? Just say Tomás
Hey, it was Monday and we had to wait
Damn the crisis!
Where's the crisis?
You have to know how to manage yourself
As I tell you a "co", I tell you the "o"
I'm so tired!
Today, no one will take away my nap
And if I can't sleep
Or soak some lentils
Or I'll be out cold reading
Don't you believe me?
As I tell you
Before, I read sporadically
I had never gone beyond Corín Tellado
And, one day
I still don't understand why
My sister-in-law Irene comes and gives me Antonio Gala's book
My daughter, I start reading and, hey, what poems
If she knows something that no one knows she knows
And with that style
And with that language
And with that pen
As I tell you one thing, I tell you the other
One thing leads to another
And, without being Polish
When I want a partner for business
Give me a Catalan
I won't find more decent people
The best client of the agency
Jordi Martorell
You should see the farmhouse he has in Calafell
And you have to travel before forming an opinion
Are all Basques carrying guns?
Well, no, look
And are they all crazy about being in ETA?
Well, no, not all
There are some who are, some who aren't
If you've been there you'll have seen
That the Basque problem is very delicate
I was born in Motril
And I don't turn down a good codfish with Urdangarín
Long live San Fermín! Haven't you noticed?
Look me in the eyes, is there a fling?
Or is the Infanta silly?
Shall I order another Fanta?
You put him next to Marichalar
And you'll see the difference, daughter, there's no comparison
Just like the King
(And I've told you I have respect for him)
But, truth be told, he's not a Castelar
Nor does he have to be
Hey, he's a Bourbon
What more does he need?
And the great queen he has behind him
Who never messes up her hair
And you have to see how much that good woman rules in the Court
There's a lot of family and, hey
Hemophilia has respected them
And the blue prince?
Imagine, all nervous and all the women want a wedding
So blond, so refined, so stiff
So tall, so muscular, what a burden, daughter
And Sartorio?
I feel sorry for her
Upset, without a boyfriend and such a good girl
She wasn't a princess?
But she was a person, Jesus
How heavy the crown is
More than the heart
And the reason for this?
It's messed up! What nonsense!
To me, that the skirts make the Bourbon lose
Look, hats off
Without illegitimate daughters there would be no monarchies
Even Ansón says so
What Ussía eats
Guardian angel, so much hypocrisy
Because it's funny
Is this democracy?
Oh, it's already two twenty!
What a chat I've given you
Today I've gone too far
Tomorrow you talk
As you always stay quiet
Come here, Borja, the towel
What did you do to your forehead?
Have you seen what a cross?
Well, Ana María, kiss Vicente for me
Hit the road
What is another day we'll bring the Fantas from the supermarket
(As I tell you a "co", I tell you the "o")