Desconocido

I have something inside my heart
That doesn't let me be as I want
And forces me to put everything back in the trunk
And leave everything on the floor again
I don't even feel like starting from scratch
Life has been going on for a while
With a nagging feeling
And I let it take over
I let it mess me up because I'm not good

And I let it mess me up again
I didn't have enough the other thousand times
I have to get my feet muddy
And carry this burden on my back alone
I swear sometimes it's stronger than me
I think: I grab the gun and blow my brains out
My mind has my body all messed up
I don't know what to hold on to, I don't know what I deserve

I don't know anything anymore
Just that I don't have time to think about what to have for dinner
And I lose my appetite
And the desire to see myself in front of the mirror
Because I can't accept it's reality
That many more years later I'll go crazy again
Without any reason, and not want to see the sunrise anymore
Sometimes my head spins and I mess things up

Like when I was a kid
Like when something that's mine is taken away
I have no reason to mess up someone's life
I don't know why I distrust
I don't want to keep doing this nonsense
The desire is gone and I became cold
Music no longer gives me what I want
Glad to have been your companion

And now that you listen to me
Know that I have so much stored
That I don't know how to handle it and that's why I stay silent
And that's why I break inside
Because I don't want to keep it
We have glory ahead, peace in front
And we don't know how to get there
It seems like we struggle to love each other in life
And that's why we don't know how to act

Let me split in two, because I deserve it
Because it's true that someone else deserves my place
It seems like I'm left for scraps
And that I'm not willing to do something for someone

And no, that's not true
It's just my head trying to separate me
And I don't like the Sun, I stay in the shade
Under the blinds so everything hides
I was going home and I got into the roundabout
Thank goodness we didn't end up in a body bag
Remember what I tell you when you put it on
It would have been a shame to see me in a grave

Everything came rushing into the house
And I wasn't prepared to dance this rumba
I was giving my body a workout with the jump rope
And now I feel my right shoulder collapsing, eh

Everything I have is owed to my madness
And everything that leaves me is also its fault
Because it got me out of many situations no one could cure
But it got me into some that left a mark
I have no doubt anymore, my head is a problem
It doesn't help with doubts and doesn't give me anything good
My mouth stays silent, because it gave me sorrow
And now I just hope the sand shakes me off

If this mental torture I carry accelerates
And I wake up forced to climb the stairs a hundred times
Nightmare with the crystal and wooden ball
That makes me not feel my hands and soles
I close the door and leave, run down the road
If it passes, I turn around, but I don't see a way
It happens a lot when I have things to get out
I hope I don't miss the shot at the end of the race

That's not me, that's not me
This is not me, this is not me
That's not me, that's not me
This is not me, this is not me

That's not me, that's not me
This is not me, this is not me
That's not me, that's not me
This is not me, this is not me

I have something inside my heart
That doesn't let me be as I want
And forces me to put everything back in the trunk
And everything in the trunk
I don't even feel like starting from scratch
I don't even feel like starting from scratch
Life has been going on for a while
With a nagging feeling
And I let it take over