Si tú, si yo

If you hadn't hit me with the alarm clock
I wouldn't have hit you with the little lamp
If you hadn't hit me with the shoe
I wouldn't have thrown the picture at your head
If you hadn't hit me with the dresser
I never would have thrown the wardrobe
If you weren't so American
I wouldn't be so Russian

And here we are, both of us
In the hospital, all bandaged up
Instead of making love
Behind the wall of a summer movie theater

If you hadn't hit me with the hand blender
I wouldn't have thrown the coffee grinder at you
If you hadn't hit me with the fridge
I wouldn't have hit you with the VCR on the head
If you hadn't thrown the couch at me
I would never have thrown the sofa bed at you
If you weren't so American
I wouldn't be so Russian.