It's Been So Long

I don't know what I was thinking
Leaving my son alone
Now I'm cursed and I find myself blind
With this anger and sadness
They will torment me forever
I can't wait for the river to take me

Is revenge what I seek?
Or do I seek someone to avenge me?
From this paradox I want to break free

Maybe I should act and find him
Before they try to stop me
A puppet I'll be, before I can see you

Much has happened
Since I saw my son
Next to that monster
The man behind it all

Since your goodbye
I sing this silly
Song to calm him
The sanity of your mother

I want to live in the present
With my past mistakes
But the future is cruel, it keeps tormenting me

His little eyes, his smile
That's what I remember
Those memories are shaking me today

This pretext kills me
And killing is no excuse
Where is my son? I can't understand

It persists in my thoughts
And the thought keeps growing
I'm sorry, my baby, I was a complete disaster