Krumme Lanke

Two years ago in August,
I didn't know yet,
that today I have to sing lamentations.
Back then I had just met Emma from afar,
but today love is already over.

In a Grunewald pub, I saw her for the first time,
she drank coffee and ate love bones,
and I approached her
and we started chatting
and by eight we were already saying 'you, you, you, you'.

And then I sat with Emma on the bench,
above us a nightingale sang so sweetly,
below us the Crooked Lake flowed so quietly,
next to us someone ate a hot dog with sauerkraut.
Right across, someone was coming from swimming,
and I saw him still in his swimsuit.
Emma asked tenderly: 'Are you built so nicely too?'
And then she gave me a kiss, oh, it was so nice!

Yes, the first kiss was nice,
but it didn't stop at that one,
because one kiss alone doesn't do much,
Emma kissed with feeling, the night was so sultry,
the last train was already gone anyway.

But around Christmas time,
she quietly complained to me,
and she said: 'This mess, it's because of you!'
I thought damn,
and went to the registry office.
Because I quickly got married to her.

And then I sat with Emma on the bench,
the organ, oh, it sounded so beautiful.
We both thought of the Crooked Lake,
and all nine aunts were crying.
And the pastor gave such a pious speech.
He talked about a virgin, pure and clear.
Because he didn't know
about the evening in August,
because he wasn't there at the time.

And so we were husband and wife,
and then the little one came,
we got a shock,
terribly.
Such a big head,
his legs as crooked as an 'O'.
He was a real little Crooked Laker.

Oh, that boy was great,
he filled all the diapers,
I stood and washed the dirty things.
Emma said flat out,
that she didn't need to do that,
and so our first fight began.

And then I sat in the kitchen on the bench,
the diapers were hanging so beautifully.
And a branch of the Crooked Lake,
the little one peed on my left leg.
At night, no one could sleep peacefully,
because the boy cried almost until morning.
Our patience ran out,
each blamed the other:
'You should have paid better attention back then!'

Since then, every day
we had the biggest fights.
Emma's temper flared terribly.
She chopped every top,
short and small on my head.
My head became soft like a June mushroom.

In desperation, I got myself
another girlfriend,
but Emma naturally found out.
She, as mean as ever,
immediately filed for divorce,
then we got a summons to court.

Then I sat with Emma on the bench,
the judge questioned both of us,
and I thought: 'That cursed Crooked Lake!'
I was declared the guilty party.

Now I have to pay for Emma and that year,
I will never have peace in my life.

This should be a warning to me,
I won't fall for that again,
I'll buy some sand
and bury the Crooked Lake!!!