Ma meilleure amie

My best friend
She's there for me when I need nothing
She pulled the worst tricks on me
But I still like her
Because we grew up together
It's crazy how we don't look alike at all
She's everything I can't stand
I wonder why I still see her
She's caused me so much drama
After all, what do we owe each other?
We have nothing in common anymore
She's always there when I'm in a jam
To tell me
How are you gonna handle it?
You're in deep shit
She has such a unique way
Of offering her help
She always has a kind word
When I'm feeling down
Like, you haven't gained weight
You look pale
Get your act together
She has a knack for ruining my day for no reason
She says that's what friends are for
But she doesn't do shit for me

Chorus:
My best friend
You're always there for me
When I need nothing
I know I can count on you
Uh huh

She always forgets my birthday
It's normal, that day she's in a mess
That I have to pull her out of
She has nothing to wear
And her houseplant is dead
She asks me how I'm doing
To tell me about her life
She doesn't care about my opinion
I love when she says
Nah, but what would you do in my shoes?
She just wants me to say
Yeah, go ahead, it's cool, you're classy
She sometimes makes me feel bad
She's so out of touch
Maybe that's why I love her
If I didn't know her
I'd slap her silly
Sometimes I really want to hit her
She'd walk all over me
Just to get attention
She's tired when I want to party
If I don't follow her, I'm a loser
In high school, she always went for my guy
She often came back a wreck
What a scam of a friend

Chorus

My best friend
She's way less nice
Than Laura's friend
She's a gossip queen
What she loves most
Is people's lives
Knowing who's with who
And who broke up with who
It's super important
She's always one step ahead of the gossip
It takes her forever
And all her data plan
It's her biggest pride
If I want all of Paris
To know my secrets
I tell them to her
And then she spreads them
She's always been a bit
Jealous and bitter
There's no reason, she has it all
And she's pretty
Everything was fine
Until the day I told her
Listen, for me, friendship
Is a two-way street
With you, it's always one-sided
I don't want to be your friend anymore
Because you're not interesting
You spend your time talking shit
And you've become mean

Chorus:
My best friend
You're always there for me
When I need nothing
I know I can count on you
Uh huh