Reissende Blicke

I sit in the cinema of my life
All seats are taken
My seat is just an emergency seat
Too many people are here today
The light goes out, the movie starts
Memories resurface
Long past becomes present again
A stranger stares at me
I look into the crowd
The whole cinema laughs
A cripple drifts in the floods
I feel sick
I am ashamed

A today shaped by yesterday
I remember back then
The question of life and death
Today I know the answer
Back then, I made the wrong decision
And the cinema laughed again
I stand up and rush into the house
I have to throw up
The hatred strikes

Will they recognize me in the light?
Will they still laugh then?
Why don't they all go home?
It's just my very private life
I come back, my seat is taken
I sit quietly on the floor
After all, I want to see what happens to me
I still don't know my purpose

I just hope I die quickly
So I don't have to bear the humility anymore
I'm sorry if my life bothered anyone
But was there a movie you liked?
The movie shows my death
Finally, I get to laugh too
But a thousand eyes turn around
And look at me in horror