Lo Siento

Mom, I dreamed that you knocked on my door
A little tense and with fogged glasses
You wanted to see me well and it was the first time
I felt that you knew how much I missed you
And you hugged me while marveling at me
That I endured sad and almost breathless
It's been so long since we hugged
And in the silence you said to me: I'm sorry

But a noise was enough to wake me up
To cry and to make me go back
To those days when you took care of me as a child
Where in summer sky and beach came together
While I listened to you with my old doll
The stories you told me every night
And when I was younger you cuddled me
And asleep in your lap I dreamed

But at sixteen I felt how I changed
And how I really saw myself now
And I felt so lonely and desperate
Because I was no longer the daughter you wanted
And that was the end of our trust
Of the small talks that helped so much
I hid behind a cold impatience
And you wished for the child that was denied to you
And I spent the day without coming home
I couldn't stand your sermons at all
And I also started to become jealous
Because you were almost unattainable, so beautiful
And I abandoned my dream for lack of luggage
I threw my heart into the sea in a vessel
I lost even my memory for lack of courage
Because I was so ashamed to be your daughter

No, no, no, no, no

But you didn't knock on my door
I had a dream that cannot
Come true in vain
My mind is so full of the present
That my pride doesn't let me forgive myself
But if you knocked on my door in another dream
I wouldn't be able to say a word
You would look at me with your stern expression
And I would feel even more lonely

That's why I'm writing this confusing letter
To tell you something peaceful in my thoughts
Not to blame you or ask for excuses
It's just to tell you, mom, I'm sorry!
And it's not true that I feel ashamed
Our souls are so alike, so similar
I'll wait patiently here sitting
I love you so much, mom, write to me
Your daughter