Acrilic On Canvas

It's longing, then
And once again
I made the drawing of you
More perfect than it was
I copied the lines
Of what didn't happen
The colors I chose
Among the paints I invented
I mixed with the promise
That we never made
Of one day being three
I worked on you
In light and shadow

And it was always
It wasn't on purpose
I swear I never wanted to make you so sad
Always the same excuses
And excuses are not always sincere
Almost never are

I prepared my canvas
With pieces of sheets
That we never got dirty
I made the frame with wood
From the window of your room
From the gate of your house
I made palette and easel
And with tears that didn't play with you
I distilled linseed oil
From your bed I took pieces
That I carved with different-sized scalpels
And then I made
Brushes with your hair
I made charcoal with the lipstick I stole from you
And with it I marked
Two vanishing points
And scribbled my horizon

And it was always: It wasn't on purpose
I swear it wasn't on purpose, I didn't want to hurt you
I promise it will never happen again
And it was always, always the same again
The same betrayal

Sometimes it's hard to forget
I'm sorry, she doesn't live here anymore

But then why do I pretend
To believe in what I invent?
None of this happened like that
It wasn't like this
No one suffered
It's just you
Who provokes this empty longing in me
Trying to paint these flowers with the name
Of love-perfect
And don't-forget-me